Ajoleblon...A Cajun Tale

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Lafayette, Louisiana, United States
This journal is a bunch of rants about nothing. Mostly lighthearted happenings in the life of a woman who is very simple and who wants for nothing but greatly appreciates whatever is given. You will find nothing profound here but hopefully something that will make you laugh and that's what I enjoy doing most. Being humorous. Fight all error, but do it with good humor, patience, kindness, and love. Harshness will damage your own soul and spoil the best cause.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Birthday Wishes

Today is my birthday.

Happy Birthday to me!

Happy Birthday to me!

Happy Birthday Dear Me!

Happy birthday to me!

And many more!

Today I am 27 years older than I was when I turned 20. You do the math.

Today I look too old to be this young......I mean I am too old to look this young. Yeah that’s it!

Today is the day I skip the candles on my cake and just light the cake.

Imagine my surprise when I got myself a digital camera for my birthday. I was so excited when I opened it! See it takes much clearer pictures than that old camera phone. Now you will be able to see all my wrinkles when I take pics. :)

I was born in the month of Breast Awareness..what a joke...I have always been aware that I have no breasts...who needs a month to commemorate that? Oh! it's Breast Cancer Awareness....glad that was clarified! Time to slam the refrigerator door on the breast month. All you gals out there old like me...I mean over 40...GO HAVE A MAMMOGRAM!

I bet you thought you’d get away without hearing a breast story. Wrong!

I have been diagnosed with fibrocystic breasts (hell I don’t know how to spell it) In lay terms they are lumpy fluid like pockets that are very rarely cancerous.

My gynecologist decided I needed to see a breast specialist for this condition. He refers me to Dr. Budden (yes that is really his name!) And Dr. Budden informs me that I need to have my cysts aspirated.

I said "what?"

He explains to me, " drained/suctioned by a needle"

I asked "when?" because in my little mind I thought we’d make an appointment and I’d be sufficiently medicated (totally put under) (out)( kaput) Oh but no!

He says "right now."

I said "come again...I know I heard you wrong."

No amount of cajoling on my part could turn him away from this courseof action. He proceeds to pull out his long needle and I damn near aspirated all over myself while he's puncturing my breasts and suctioning all the fluid.

When he was finished...I was weak and boob-less. What I once thought were my breasts instead turn out to be a mass of fluids masquerading as teats. Adding insult to injury he places a bandaid on my wounds. He could have boosted my ego by at least placing a 2 x 2 guaze instead. Come on doc..a little sensitivity here. I blame him entirely for my self esteem problem.

Oh and wait! He tells me not to eat chocolate, nor drink caffiene and limit my salt intake. I'm sure he's got a vendetta out for me.

* *No man in his right mind will look at this boobless woman and now he's trying to take away my only other pleasures in life?

I don't think so Dr. Budden!

My thoughts were: You drained my boobs so why should I have to stop all the things that are supposedly harming them? Can't harm something that doesn't exist, right?

 

Disclaimer: (isn't that what you call this?)

** I want to state that in being silly I do not wish to insult anyone with the idea that men/women are so superficial as not to love/want a woman for more than her body and/or body parts. I am well aware that there are many women out there with men/women who love them regardless of the state of their bodies. I for one may face that very destiny as many others before me have. I admire any woman (or man) who has had to endure breast cancer and salute their courageousness.

 

A little history of October 28th:

 

The Statue of Liberty will celebrate her 119th Anniversary today as well. She's older than me and looks better. What's up with that?

Statue History:

Lady Liberty was the brainchild of Parisian intellectuals who envisioned the statue as a monument to freedom and international friendship. Sculptor Frederic Auguste Bartholdi, with the help of Alexandre Gustave Eiffel, was commissioned to design the sculpture in time for America's 1876 centennial. Monetary concerns prevented her from arriving until 1886.

 

October 28, 1958 Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli, elected Pope, taking name John XXIII

October 28, 1956 Pope Pius XII publishes encyclical Luctuosissimi eventus

October 28, 1965 Pope Paul VI proclaims Jews not collectively guilty for crucifixion

October 28, 1061 Emperor disposes of bishop Cadalus and Pope Honorius II

(what's the deal with my birthdate and popes?)

 

For those of you who have endured this entire entry to the bitter end....I am posting a pic of myself in my birthday suit:

 

DAMN I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO USE THAT CAMERA!

 

 

 

6 comments:

gaboatman said...

Happy Birthday!  I'm so glad you had the forsight to find out what you would really like and buy such a nice gift.  I'm looking forward to some great Pics in this journal now.  I hope your birthday day is a fine one and enjoyed!
Sam

sieblonde said...

Happy 17th anniversary of your 30th birthday. ~Sie  

gailmb said...

Ah, a great mid-morning chuckle! Thanks!  When you "damn near aspirated all over" yourself, I almost fell off my chair! (Of course, I'm sure it wasn't the least bit funny to you......)

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to you!  (That's the best I can do, and you should consider yourself very lucky that you didn't have to HEAR me singing that---I'm a choir reject). You and the popes, huh. Consider yourself blessed........(pun intended). I share my birthday with Alice Cooper........

swibirun said...

Happy birthday again!  

I LOVED this entry.  It was so full of one liner's that I can't pick out my favorite one!  You are a laugh riot, girl.

And the nudie pic of you at the end?  Priceless!  

Chris
http://journals.aol.com/swibirun/Inanethoughtsandinsaneramblings
http://www.bigoven.com/~swibirun

luvatalaff said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU INDEED.........AND HAPPY EARLY HALLOWEEN.........SO YOU GOT THAT STAPH INFECTION FROM THE SIDE OF THE ROAD DID YOU? HEHE.........BTW THESE PICS ARE GREAT....EPECIALLY THE ONES FROM WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE KID

nemokat05 said...

I'm probably going to get ANOTHER staph infection..... for the second time!!!!

Saturday, January 5, 2008
Subject: Hospital
Time: 6:56:54 PM EST
Author:  Me
Mood:  Chillin'


I was up and down all last night. I finally got up around 8 am and took an shower. Then Travis, me and his mom went to the ER room at the hospital. My finger gotten really puffed and hurted like hell! My abscess on my right leg popped last night and alot of pus and blood mixture came out of it. The ER doctor numbed my finger and my leg and cut them open to drain them. A little bit came out of my finger and my leg but mostly when the one on my leg popped last night the pus was alot. They sent it to a lab and its going to take 48 hours to know what I have but they are treating it like Staph Infection. I am taking Keflex and Bactrim. Well I had a hellish day so I'm going to rest.

I am taking Cephalexin (Kelfex) 500 MG CAP. One capsule by month 4 times daily for 10 days. And Bactrim DS 800-160 TAB. One tablet by mouth twice daily for 10 days.