Ajoleblon...A Cajun Tale

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Lafayette, Louisiana, United States
This journal is a bunch of rants about nothing. Mostly lighthearted happenings in the life of a woman who is very simple and who wants for nothing but greatly appreciates whatever is given. You will find nothing profound here but hopefully something that will make you laugh and that's what I enjoy doing most. Being humorous. Fight all error, but do it with good humor, patience, kindness, and love. Harshness will damage your own soul and spoil the best cause.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

My leather jacket

I fell on my knees and cried like a baby last night when I got home. I wasn't going to blog about this simply because I didn't think I could convey in words the emotions that coursed through me by one simple act of kindness. It wasn't a big thing but it brought home to me how truly blessed I am and have always been.

I have a black leather jacket that has been taking up residence on a wooden rocking chair that I have in my computer room. This chair is what I drop everything on when I get home and it's the chair that I've rocked my every things (Brandi and Matthew). I know now that the jacket quietly sat there to bring home to me something I've always known but never completely acknowledged.

When I got home yesterday from the gym, I did what I normally do, I dropped everything on the chair, stripped on my way to the bedroom, went to my closet to put my shoes away and that's when I saw it. My leather jacket. Hanging haphazardly on the hangar. I fell to my knees crying like a baby.

My dad, who lives in Texas had come to visit Sunday night and he left yesterday morning after I went to work. Obviously he saw the jacket on the chair and wanted to somehow help me out by hanging it. That may not seem to be much of a big deal these days but in my dad's day it was unheard of. That simple kindness brought home to me that my dad loves me and how many huge things he has done for me, but it took this small act to bring it home. He has always been there for me in the good times, the bad, the sad and the happy. This man, my dad, listened to many heartaches that I've endured and has tried to console me. He would never dream that his daughter does wrong and if he does, it never leaves his dream.

My dad is 76 years old and in his old age he loves to talk, gossip, chitchat, etc. Something he has never had a desire to do before but I guess he is lonely. I promise next time he goes on a marathon talkathon, I will remember my leather jacket hanging haphazardly in my closet, and pray to have all the patience in the world with him.

As I pick myself up off my knees and wipe the tears from my eyes, I walk into the bathroom and notice the toilet seat up and I laugh and forgive him this small discretion. In his day, his mother couldn't teach him to put the toilet seat down because he grew up in the age of outhouses and corncobs.
I shake my head, raise my foot, and put the toilet seat down.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Germs are everywhere!

This weekend while my daughter and grandson were visiting, I notice she hadn't taught him how to aim very well or put the toilet seat down after his misguided aims. I explained to her that those sort of lessons must come from the mother. The male species will not deem it necessary to teach a young lad such things.

My daughter decided to take me up on teaching Matthew good point and aim skills. On the way home today she gives him a verbal lesson explaining to him exactly how it should be done. Pick up toilet seat, aim, shoot, flush and put down toilet seat. She tells him that she will be escorting him to the john until he perfects this skill.

They arrive home and of course he eventually has to try these new skills. She follows him into the bathroom. He raises the seat, points and aims perfectly but starts to walk away. She says "Matthew, you forgot something..." He lifts his legs, using his feet to depress the lever to flush and put the toilet seat down.

Anyone who knows me would know that I am a big time germophobic! I don't touch bathroom door knobs with my bare hands. Matter of fact there is not much in a bathroom that I do touch with my bare hands. Yep, seems, unknowing to me, my little man has been very observant of his Nammy. That's exactly how I flush and put down the toilet seat. Those levers are probably the nastiest things to touch besides door knobs!

My daughter was rolling when she called me... They see a lot more than you think they do...

Saturday, December 27, 2008

A day with the daughter

My daughter is 26 years old and she still loves to aggravate me. Her day is not complete unless she has managed to find something that will raise my hackles. I am normally a very calm, sweet and gentle woman until she decides that I need to be otherwise.

Yesterday her and I traveled to Texas to see my parents. She hates my driving so I drove just to aggravate her and the entire trip she kept reminding me that I didn't know how to drive on the interstate. I told her that just because I was not weaving in and out of traffic at 90 miles an hour did not warrant me as not knowing how to drive.

I allowed her to drive on the way home simply because I was tired or otherwise she'd have had to put up with my lack of competence on the interstate for another two hours. We were in the car a mere ten minutes and she attempted to kill me three times. I honestly think my only saving grace was the fact that my young grandson was in the car and it wasn't his time to go.

Of course, her being a typical female that drank 2 liters of diet coke during the trip needed a pitt stop. I knew when she stopped at Walgreens to relieve herself that it was the beginning of my total aggravation. Forget that I had decided I was going to be patient with her...Dear Lord, I promise I wanted to be! My grandson had fallen asleep so Nammy Dearest had to stay in the car with him and could not go along with Daughter Dearest to hurry her along. As I've said, I am not the most patient of women but I gave her ten minutes to pee before I started getting antsy. When I realized that yesterday was the day after Christmas and sales, the light bulb went off...She was relieving more than her bladder. She was emptying her wallet as well. When she finally arrives back at the car, my bladder which had been completely empty, had filled up. I slammed out of the car like the old witch she believes me to be but before my departing she says "I thought you didn't need the bathroom" at which I responded "That was before your shopping spree!" I was tempted to pay kind with kind but decided to be big about and a bit more considerate.

I return to the car and go into my nagging spiel of how inconsiderate it is to say you are going to the bathroom and 2o minutes later you return as if that's the most normal thing in the world (which for her it is). I'm just not quite as accustomed to it any longer. Her husband is!! She continues to laugh at me because for some reason she finds me so amusing when I am harping on her for her behavior.

The radio is playing Love Songs at Night with Delilah during my spewing and then on comes this girl telling about how she mistreats her mom and is very inconsiderate towards her. Delilah is admonishing her, etc etc. At this point, Brandi and I are rolling with laughter. It always happens that way with her and I, we aggravate the hell out of each other but ALWAYS end up laughing because it is hilarious and something like this sparks our humor.

Of course it didn't stop there, when we got home she had to come into my room and aggravate me again simply stating that she misses that most of all since she lives 4 hours away.

We do love each other!

News to me!

Wow I never knew this:

There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me. What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?
This week, I found out. From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.

-The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.
-Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.
-Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.
-The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
-The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
-The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.
-Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
-The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.
-Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.
-The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.
-The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.
-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.

So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now I know how that strange song became a Christmas Carol...so pass it on if you wish.

Thursday, December 25, 2008


May your day be blessed with many joys and may the peace of Christ be yours now and forever!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

LSU, The Bears and The Saints

My two joys will be with me for the Christmas holidays. I thought I was finished with my shopping until I had this little conversation with the joy of my life.

Matthew: Nammy! (said with a North Louisiana Redneck drawl...Naaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeee)

Nammy: What my angel?

Matthew: (all excited) Santa is bringing some of my presents to your house and some of them to my Dad's house. (I guess his dad told him Santa was passing at their house for him too....and kids these days think that they got a raw deal!)

Nammy: Well, sweetie, Nammy will have some presents for you too.

Matthew (natural curiosity) What did you buy me Nammy? (he says Nammy after every sentence uttered)

Nammy: It's a surprise...you will find out when you open them.

Matthew: Nammy, I know what you got me.... NFL football players.

Nammy: NFL Football players?

Matthew: Yeah, Nammy, the LSU Tigers (so he doesn't realize they aren't pro...LOL) , The Bears and the Saints.

Nammy (to herself...oh shit)

So......I wasn't quite finished. Now, instead of ornaments, I have NFL football players hanging on my Norfolk Pine.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Sneaux Tigers

Something South Louisiana rarely sees is snow but on the 11th we were blessed with what we consider a lot of snow. What a sight it was.

LSU's Mascot Mike the Tiger....Sneaux Tigers!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Something worth having.

I've often been asked what it is I am looking for in a relationship and I usually get laughed at when I answer with these words "I want to one day be the little old lady and the little old man that I see on Sunday in church." You know? The ones who shuffle their way into mass every single Sunday come rain or shine. They sit there barely able to hear so they turn their hearing aids up and then turn to their partner and say "eh?" So adorable! Today with tears in my eyes I saw exactly what I am talking about.

The elderly lady walks into Mass with lil old man behind her. She sees a friend in the choir and decides to chat with her. Lil ole' man stands next to the pew waiting patiently for her. He looks over at her but never gets into the pew without her nor walks over to her to interrupt her chat to make her hurry. After about 5 minutes she walks toward the pew, he guides her with his hand into the pew. She sits and he reaches down to lower the kneeler for her. They kneel and pray together.

In my eyes: Me + You = God/Love. Without HIM there is no US.

For some reason the lil old man/lady brings that home to me every single Sunday!

Some of you may laugh at my idea of love but those are my ideals and I'm not going to apologize for them. I may die a lil old women without her lil ole' man but I doubt it! Some thing worth having is worth waiting for!

Monday, December 8, 2008

The Breakfast Bowl

I am very much a creature of habit and routine. Every single morning I eat breakfast at Chick-fil-A. They are the only fast food restaurant that will serve a side of eggs that are scrambled but not in loads of butter or grease. I will also get a medium cup of fruit or a biscuit and a large Diet Coke....$3.47. Healthy and cheap.

Also, I am a big LSU fan and this morning my daughter text me and this is what I read:

Looks like LSU is playing in the Sharlene Breakfast Bowl this year.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Face in Hand

I was sitting in church today with my face in my hands, feeling sorrowful, when I suddenly realized how intimate of a gesture touching someone's face can be. We do it often without realizing what we are doing or why. When you touch the face of the one you are kissing it brings more meaning into it. When you care for someone you touch their face in awe of them. It comes natural, almost without thought. We can touch anywhere else on the body but for some reason the face is much more intimate and personal.

As I did this morning in Mass, when we are upset with something in our lives we put our face in our hands comforting ourselves, crying out our sorrow in our hand.

Touch a face today even if it's your own. I did!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Do you see what I see?

Today I was at work doing my normal accounting functions when I came upon an invoice that appeared to have been through the ringer and back. Apparently someone was eating some heavy duty fried chicken and decided to wring the chicken out onto this invoice. As I was looking at it I realized it may be worth something one day so I best take a picture of it. Seriously, if someone can try to sell a cornflake that looks like a state or a piece of toast with a vision of the Virgin Mary on it, why couldn't I try to see some otherworldly something on my invoice.....
Help me out guys. What do you see?

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Booster Seats

Mom, I think it's time to take me out of the booster seat...I'm 21 years old!

Friday, November 28, 2008

A little cyber fun

Sometimes we meet people on the internet that we are unlikely to ever meet in real life. People who live far away but they are met in virtual life and bring meaning and laughter to your life. You get to know them through emails and with the silliest of ways you get to laugh and they bring joy to your life on mundane days and I hope he doesn't mind me sharing it.

He is at work doing what most IT guys do..nothing and I am at home this evening doing what I do best ...nothing. We have found the nothingness of this evening and turned it into laughter through cyberspace.

It all started with an email with him asking a few question and me filling in the blanks for him and then I turned around and asked him a few questions and he filled in the blanks for me. We then took each other's blanks and created a story. Even at our age we can have sweet innocent fun! This is what ensued:

My answers to his questions:

1. Men should never wear pink tights
2. The sunshine burns my ass and I love it!
3. Yesterday I heard that soon Mike would show me his pretty pink tights.
4. My neighbors are great, but they are flaming!
5. A monkey and a child should swing from trees.
6. I once ate a can of tuna fish with 4 cats surrounding me.
7. Once i was so drunk I entered a legs contest at a local lounge...didn't win but a guy offered me a 100 dollars because he thought I should have won! Then I promptly missed all 6 steps and fell out of the bar blaming my male friend for pushing me. LOL
9. i would rather ride a camel than be a hump on one.
10. When we landed on the moon, I was 11 and had a sweatshirt that said "fly me to the moon!"

And this is the story he made up:

I once went sunbathing at a nude beach, and laid out too long, getting my ass burnt. Someone stole my trunks, and all I could find were a pair of pink tights and a t-shirt that said "fly me to the moon'. Considering I was late to take Shar to the ballet, I considered my outfit to be appropriate, as she noticed when she opened her door. Her neighbors were there and commented positively on my evening wear, suggesting I enter a 'nice legs' contest at the local bar, which I declined. We first had a lovely romantic dinner of tuna fish at Cats Eyes restaurant, smoked Camel cigarettes, and realized the tickets were in my stolen swim trunks. We had to settle for a night watching Disney's Jungle Book movie, laughing at the monkey teaching the boy how to swing from the trees.

His answers to my questions:

I once had a sandwich of polish sausage, with Russian dressing, on Italian bread
If I could be 7 again probably still have wrinkles
I wish I had a backpack jet to fly me to new orleans
China is my hell I aint got nothing here..lol
The armidillo and I went cruisin to el paso!
If every picture tells a story then I'm a still a blank canvas.
My favorite nail polish is passion pink.
I sold my used socks on ebay.
When I'm 60 lbs overweight I can kick all those bully's butts

My story to his answers:

When I was traveling through New Orleans with my back pack jet, I saw an idiot with passion pink nail polish sitting in a Bourbon Street bar eating a sandwich. He was staring at a blank canvas trying to figure out how to paint all those wrinkles in that old ladies face. She was from the Southside and had more chins than China. He sat there for what seemed like hours eating on his polish sausage and the Italian dressed waiter asked him if he wanted a White Russian. He explained to the waiter that if he nipped into any liquor that his Armadillo would refuse to take him to El Paso and he needed to get to El Paso with his excess 60 pounds to whip up on the bully that bought his socks on ebay.

Thanks Mike for the laughter! You are so appreciated!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

A thankful thanksgiving!

Today instead of spending time with family, I decided to spend my day in bed with Anne Rice. As much as I love to read, I have never read her books simply because vampires and the supernatural were against everything I was taught. I knew she was from New Orleans but little else about her.

The same friend who challenged me to learn about the faith I so believed in could not believe I had never read a book by her. As I was in Barnes and Noble, looking for the Cathecism of the Catholic Church, right there was a book by Anne Rice. Intrigued and astonished that it was in the Christian section, I picked it up to read the inside cover.

Today I read this book from cover to cover. The day could not have been spent any better. No family nor friend could have taught me what this book did and so beautifully on Thanksgiving Day.

I walked and cried with her and actually felt the exact same things she felt growing up as a Catholic. She, in a more stricter sense than I, because she is older and from a time when the teachings were less forgiving. She lived and breathed Jesus growing up.

I have to admire her for consciously denouncing God and her belief in him. I understood her reasonings for becoming athiest. Unlike people who claim to be Christian and slowly losing their faith, she made a conscious decision not to believe. That was powerful but what was more powerful was her unconscious return to Christianity and her Catholic faith.

All I can say is...wow. She is one remarkable woman and one that I so admire now. I am thankful!

Called Out Of Darkness:

A Spiritual Confession

By Anne RiceKnopf; 245 pp.

The Gist:

In 2002 Rice, the queen bat of vampire fiction, shed her fangs and began writing books (two so far) about the life of Jesus. This memoir is Rice's attempt to explain her return to Christianity, moving from the idyllic New Orleans of her 1940s childhood to the renunciation of her Catholic faith — indeed, of all faiths — during her student years and after in 1960s San Francisco. Rice's reminiscences about her ensuing atheist period and the success of her decidedly irreligious vampire novels are tinged with some sorrow; she moves earnestly on to the 90s, years in which, she says, a benevolent deity "hunted" her down until she gave in and accepted His divine love.

Highlight Reel:1. An epiphany beneath the huge statue of Christ the Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro: "Suddenly the clouds broke, revealing the giant figure of Jesus Christ above us, with His outstretched arms. The moment was beyond any rational description...I had come thousands of miles to stand here. And here was the Lord. The clouds quickly closed over the statue; then broke and revealed the statue again. How many times this happened I don't remember. I do remember a kind of delirium...I didn't acknowledge faith in these moments at the foot of the statue. But something greater than creedal formulation took hold of me, a sense that this Lord of Lords belonged to me in all his beauty and grandeur."

2. The fate of Lestat: "My hero, the Vampire Lestat, the genderless giant who lived in me, was always the voice of my soul in this novel [2002's Blackwood Farm] and it is no accident that he begins it with a cry of the heart, 'I want to be a saint, I want to save the souls of millions!' [But]by the end of the novel, confessing his failure ever to be anything but a rambunctious reprobate and Byronic sinner, he...resigned as the hero of the books which had given him life...This character who had been my dark search engine for twenty-seven years would never speak in the old framework again."

3. On her differences with contemporary Christian teaching: "Centuries ago the stars were sacred. A man could be burnt at the stake for declaring that the earth revolved around the sun...Now the Christian world holds the stars to be secular...Is it not possible for us to do with gender, sexuality and reproduction what was long ago done with the stars? To realize that...new sources of information on them may be as valid as the information given us long ago?"

4. A shocking childhood scene recounted only 13 pages before the book's end: "I was with a group of children...playing in the side yard of a house that had a basement and an open basement window. At one point we crowded to the edge...and looked down into the empty room. The room must have been over eight feet deep. Perhaps it was deeper. There was a little boy crouching next to me at the edge of the window, and I turned to him, and pushed him so that he fell all the way down to the basement floor. I did it for no other reason than to see what would happen. I did it because I felt it was an interesting thing to do. I will never forget all my life that little boy's scream as he fell...I mention it now because I think I knew evil and wrong in that moment."

The Lowdown:Called out of Darkness is catnip for devout Christians: Rice's conversion is disorganized enough to sound real, her eagerness to embrace confession and discipleship is inspiring, and her arguments in a passage on "Christmas Christianity" suggest Rice could rival C.S. Lewis as a popular apologist for the faith. For those more interested in learning about what shaped the author of the bestselling vampire sagas and volumes of sadomasochistic pornography (written under a pseudonym), the book is maddening. Rice drops dark hints of severe dyslexia, militant gender ambiguity, alcoholism and bipolarity, but retreats, giving little away. The startling childhood confession very late in the book suggests that had Rice aired her demons more fully, the tale of her defection to the angels would be that much more powerful.

The Verdict: Read

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

To thine own self be true

I’ve always thought the way that I feel was about religion and being a Catholic. Today I was making my bed (no I wasn’t lying in it too) when I realized it is only partially due to religion. It’s my conscious (God) that tells me when something is not right for me. My conscious is my religion and my faith.

It may feel good for a while but if something keeps nagging me then at some point I have to stop and examine that nag. If it’s a bogus nag I will send it upon its way but if it’s legit, then it’s time to find out where it’s coming from.

Today I did that. I asked myself why I won’t allow myself to do certain things that most people do so freely and without guilt. The answer was a revelation to me. The simple and pure reason is because God calls me away from anything that harms my soul. He won't allow me to stray too far from him and instead of being thankful for this gift of grace, I grind my teeth in frustration. Oh ye of little faith!

I’ve always thought something was wrong and abnormal with me but God calls me to avoid near occasion of sin and when I'm in a sinful state the old coot nags me! I find myself back in the throes of sin time and time again only to find out that he will be pulling my ass back.

I’m left standing with WTF was that? A lesson, Sharlene, to open your mouth and stand up for ME (God). Time to walk the walk!

Damn it, I failed him again but as a Christian, there’s always....

Bless me Father...

Sunday, November 23, 2008

God just..

God just built me that way...those were the words that Matthew said to me this morning and they spoke volumes.

I’ve always struggled with verbalizing what I believe when it comes to the teachings of my faith especially to people who don’t believe the same. I’ve believed and have always believed the teachings of the Catholic faith. As the years have gone by, I’ve forgotten half the teachings but on faith I knew I still believed. A friend of mine, last week, challenged me on just what it is I believe and what the Catholic Church teaches. I could not, with any clarity, conviction or firm reasoning state why I believed what I did. He basically suggested that maybe I should read and perhaps see if my views were still the same.

Last week found me at Barnes and Noble looking for "The Catechism of the Catholic Church". I saw "Catholic for Dummies" but chose to forgo that option and get one that I’d truly have to concentrate on. I’ve been a Catholic Dummy long enough! I began reading and am still reading. I’m not yet at the point that I can argue anything but at least I’m a bit more informed with my faith. I still believe in my heart what I’ve always believed. That was a good feeling.

I found myself in church with a feeling that "this is where I belong". It’s a place I’ve always gone when I’m sad, hurt or feeling a little unsure of myself. To sit in the presence of the only being that truly knows me.

Now when questioned about why I believe and I don’t have all the answers, the best answer shall be:

"God just built me that way....."

Grandson's and bellybutton rings

I've had the love of my grandson and daughter this weekend. I love the conversations that pop up randomly with a six year old but some conversations I would never anticipate.

We are sitting around talking about little things that lil ole grannies and 6 year olds talk about when he informs me that he and his friend Zack "talk".

Matthew pulls up my shirt a bit and checks out the belly button ring he has always been fascinated with since he was a baby. He then informs me that his friend Zack's mom has a belly button ring too . Apparently, Zack told Matthew of this fact, Matthew, not to be outdone, says "My nammy has a belly button ring too!"

I can see it now, two first graders, expounding upon loved ones belly button rings. Who'd a thunk it?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Election

I have often been asked my political views but being a person who prior to today, couldn't tell you the number of cabinet members, (10, thank you Dwayne for showing my ignorance!) I usually don't partake in voicing any views. However, after the election of President Elect Obama (I have to be respectful and give him his rightful title), and after hearing all the negative comments about his election, I must write this blog. I do have many opinions and usually keep them to myself because I am not one to thrust my feeble thoughts on others. I have, however, after much prayer, contemplation,and discernment in my Holy Hour, decided that what I have to say needs to be said.

As long as President Elect Obama does not interfere with my ability to tailgate this Saturday at the LSU vs Alabama game then I have no bone to pick with him! And! as long as he's the only Bama that wins this week, I will indeed be a happy American!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Dancing with Grandma Benite

When I visit my grandmother in the nursing home, I always think I am going for her benefit, but it always ends up that it is my soul that benefits the most from visiting her. I often wonder why I do not go more often.

She is 97 now and imparts to me so much wisdom. She informed me today that she had a good life. You can see the pleasure of small things in her eyes. The memories of her dance. Literally.

I am so happy that I chose today to go visit. Her and I share the love of music and dance. The nursing home had a Cajun Band for entertainment and when I got there she was seated in her wheelchair enjoying the music. I sat down and she cried because she was so happy to have someone there to share the music with her. She asked me if I still went out and danced. I told her as much as I could but not as often as I'd like to. She looked at me with the most wistful of eyes saying "When we are young we dance and when we are old Pffft nothing!"

She wanted so badly to get out of her wheelchair and dance with me. All I could do was hold her hand and move it in rhythm with the music. Such pure joy in her eyes just to be able to experience that small consolation.
She looked at me and said "To be dancing in the arms of the man you love...I remember that!" She said that over and over throughout the songs, crying sometimes, I'm sure remembering some distant love. I looked around at all the old people in their wheelchairs and wondered what they were remembering.

Music seems to bring out the nostalgic parts of us all. Even I, who am young compared to their years, had many memories of dancing in the arms of loves. Such joy to be close to the one you love, moving in rhythm, enjoying the subtle displays of affection allowed on the dance floor. Beautiful.

I am blessed and I needed that little bit of heaven for my soul today, I assuredly always get it when I visit Grandma.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

And some things do not pass...

The quarter decided to remain deposited and a surgeon had to remove it so my grandson could see what president was on the face of it....

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Accidently Swallowing Quarters

Yesterday, my darling grandson, Matthew, swallowed a quarter. Matthew is now 6 years old so swallowing a quarter to me would take a concentrated effort on his part and it couldn't be an "accident" because he consciously put the quarter in his mouth or so I thought. I spoke with him and asked him about this happening and the conversation went like this:

Me: Matthew, tell Nammy what happened today?

Matthew: Nammy, I accidently dropped a quarter in my mouth.

Me: (amused) Now Matthew, you are telling Nammy a story. There is no way you can "accidently" drop a quarter in your mouth! You put it in it your mouth and "accidently" swallowed it.

Matthew (insistingly): Nammy, I did accidently drop it!

Me: (unbelieving) Matthew, tell Nammy how that is possible?

Matthew: (convincingly) Nammy, I was holding the quarter up to see what President was on the quarter and it accidently fell in my mouth. I fell backwards and swallowed it. I tried to get it out but I couldn't.

Me: (laughing uncontrollably)

Why oh why do I ever doubt that child? I, who was so sure there was no way you could accidently drop a quarter in your mouth, was proven wrong by a six year old. I have come to the conclusion that as it is with God, it is with children, all things are possible!

And this too shall pass...

Thursday, October 9, 2008

I am here

It was a long hard road here but I made it! I put my hardhat on and went to work! The transfer left me with about 8 blogs by the time it was over and a little research taught me how to delete them all. Thanks to all my followers for making the journey with me. Some of you I had no clue you even read me and now I feel an obligation to give you some trivial nothing to read!

To the left you will see me at work. Okay, I don't actually work on a boat as this picture depicts. We had the privilege of touring our new boat that was launched yesterday. I would give anything to be the Captain of this Ship and I truly think I missed my calling! I'd have made a damn good Captain! Captain Sam...what ya think?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

My new granddaughter

I have a new red-headed granddaughter...here she is along with my grandson and daughter. Her name is Chloetilde.  Isn't she adorable?  My daughter now calls and sends pics of the damned dog instead of my grandson.  I'm like "who cares?"


Sunday, August 3, 2008


I am country! And I’m here to prove it!

In 2001, I was out on the town enjoying a few cold ones with a male friend. It was late and time for me to make the trip home which was 20 miles away. My male friend decided to walk me to my car. Prior to him deciding to walk me to the car, I had come to the conclusion that I could make it home without making one last pit stop to the dreaded public restroom. He walks me to the car and decides he needs to talk with me a little longer. As he’s talking, my bladder is filling but then he finally decides that all the convincing in the world wasn’t going to make me bring him home with me. I get on the road and I’m half way home when I realize there is no way in hell I’m going to make it home without relieving myself somewhere. It’s late at night and there’s no public place I feel safe enough to make a pit stop. I’m driving, with my legs squeezed as tightly together as you can while having one foot on the accelerator. I’m wiggling in my seat trying like the dickens to make it but at this point my teeth are floating and concentration is becoming a big problem. I’m right outside a little village called Maurice when I decided I can’t wait any longer. I do what any lady would do, I pull off to the side of the road, scope out the traffic, open the door, find a nice grassy spot and proceed to pull my jeans to my knees and squat. Relief is instant and no one is the wiser!

The following day I make a trip to the nursing home to visit my elderly grandmother. Had the same need to urinate and made use of the nursing home facilities. No problem, shouldn’t have been a big thing, right? Wrong! Stay with me here. I do have a point.

A week later, which was the week before Thanksgiving, I’m walking in New Orleans, with the same young gent who caused my bladder spasms, and I feel my left butt cheek irritated. The more I walk, the more my ass is chapped. My jeans rub against my left butt cheek and it’s very uncomfortable but I think that obviously something bit my ass while I squatted the week before. I think nothing of it and continue walking and drinking my Buffet Margaritas in New Orleans. Come Monday, I thought it would be all right, but it was a swelling like no body’s bidness! I thought I had a big rear before. Now it was a bit lopsided. Lumpy so to speak! I thought, okay, it’s a spider bite and will go away. Nadda, it was only getting worse. I’m what, we call in French, "tete du" hardheaded. Finally on Thanksgiving day, my jeans were no longer fitting and my shapeliness was getting shapeless. My family decides they are taking matters into their own hands and make me go to the hospital. I go to the emergency room thinking it’s a wasted trip and they will tell me to keep my happy ass off the side of the road from now on. (I did have to tell my story to the physician so he could make his best educated guess as to what was wrong) The physician decides that something had bit me but he does a culture just in case. He gives me some happy pills and antibiotics and sends my rear home.

Saturday morning arrives and I get a call from the hospital. I need to get my swollen, lopsided, unhappy ass there as soon as possible. Now I knew that it was bad because my body was producing things that should not have ever come out of any body but especially mine! I had never in my life seen anything close to what I was seeing butt I wasn’t really worried until they told me I had STAPH. I arrive at the hospital to be hooked up to IV’s and placed in a room that was sealed off and everything that left the room would leave in Orange Contaminated bags. I have never felt so ostracized in my whole life.

Would I ever squat on the side of the road again? You bet your happy ass I would....but I will NEVER pee in a nursing home again! It was the spider bite that left an open wound which allowed the Staph from the nursing home toilet to enter my body. It was the grossest thing that I’ve ever seen and public restrooms to this day cause flashbacks of something I never want to endure again!

Friday, July 18, 2008

A Fantasy Kiss

This is my first attempt at writing something other than real life experiences.  This is a vision I had driving home from work yesterday (okay you have to do something in 5 pm traffic!!) and decided to see if I could put it in writing.  This is the result:

She was sitting on the wooden bench, a solitary soul, gazing upon the Vermillion hues of the sunset. The sun was moving just below the horizon, casting the last rays of the day upon her tanned skin. You could see a few years upon her face but she was quite content with herself and where she was in life, this was witnessed by her very relaxed and calm state of being. If you happened to be watching, perhaps you would think she was sleeping, but if you looked closely you would see the thoughts chasing across her face. A smile, a twinkle, and a bit of a smirk. Looking at her, made you wonder what was traipsing across her mind that made her smile so tantalizingly.

Perhaps she was dreaming of a kiss. A kiss from a handsome stranger. The kiss that she had always fantasized about. That one kiss that would erase all others. All of a sudden, her senses are peaked, she feels his dark presence before she sees it. She is scared to look. Her heart slows a few beats. Afraid that it will be nothing but her imagination playing tricks upon her once again, but no, when she looks up, she sees him. He is standing, with the sunset upon his skin, within touching distance and she looks at him with that, uncomprehending, slightly quizzical look. He smiles and nods as if he knows that she has been waiting for him. With fluid motion, he holds out his hand and she takes it with a knowing smile. He pulls her gently toward him but she resists slightly as she gazes upon his manly features. Her fingerstips follow her eyes over every feature of his dark face. She caresses his face in wonderment, as if she is scared by her mere touch he will disappear. She bites her lip in anticipation. Her fingertips touch his lips knowing that her lips would soon follow. She moves in closer and lightly touches her tongue to her own fingertips, teasing him with her hot breath upon his lips. He tries to pull her in even closer toward him but she stops him once again, letting him know with her eyes that he is allowed only to experience her and wrap his presence around her. She feels him tremble with unsatiated desire and she sees the telling emotions upon the shadowsof his face. As she moves a little closer she places her hands upon his chest. She feels the thunder of his heartbeat. She smiles the knowing smile of a woman, a woman who knows the effect she is having on him, but she teasingly prolongs that moment that will only happen once. The first kiss of lovers. Finally she looks up and lightly traces her tongue upon his lips and nibbles slightly on his bottom lip. Sucking ever so gently and playing chase with her tongue and the tips of her fingers on his lip. She teases and flirts with every slight breath upon his lips. He tries again to deepen the kiss...she resists by turning her head. She smiles broadly up at him, knowing it's almost time and takes his hand leading him toward the bench. His knees buckle from beneath him and his whole being melds into the bench....

She opens her eyes, notices the sun has finally fallen below the horizon, she turns slightly to look at him, and then she looks down at her empty hand and realizes he was merely the shadows of darkness dancing around her. She pulls herself up off of the bench and chases the shadow to her bedroom and watches it dance upon the wall.



Sharlene, July 2008

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Bikini's and Confession

Today I found myself in the confessional baring my heart out to our priest.  I love that man!  He always listens with an open mind and today I found myself laughing with him in the confessional.  He has an awesome sense of humor that I love and respect to the utmost.  When he first came to the parish, I was not too impressed with him because he tended to drone on and on without going anywhere.  I stuck with him and as he droned on and on he continued to laugh at his own ramblings and tangents.  I began to love them and find humor in them as well.
Today, there I was in the confessional with a dilemma, one I've always had because of my grandmother.  As a young teen roaming the beaches, she thought that it was disgraceful to walk the beaches in a bikini or swimsuit of any kind. (She's the one who never bathed without her panties on)   I grew up thinking that it was possibly not good to flaunt your body around.  Of course, I didn't listen to my conscious and continued flaunting,  but as I got older, I revisited that notion.  This past weekend, by the pool in Dallas, I found myself in my bikini flaunting.
This is how my confession proceeded:
Me:  In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit Amen
Me:  Bless me Father for I have sinned, it's been a few months since my last confession.  Father since my last confession I went to Dallas and missed Mass and wore a bikini.  I flaunted my body and I'm sure I caused other men to have impure thoughts.
Father:  <Silence>
Me:  <chuckle> Father, I don't know if it's a sin to wear a bikini and bare my body for all to see but I'm here to find out.  I've always wondered about that.
Priest:  <Chuckle, Snicker, Laugh>  "Depends on how you look in it!"  (I lie, he didn't say that!)
Sharlene : <giggles nervously>
Priest:  Well,  I don't know either but the sin is in the eye of the beholder.  Some will look at your body and see it as a Creation of God and others will see it with lust.  You have no control over how it is seen.  As long as you don't wear your bikini in church, I see nothing wrong with it.  A bikini is as inappropriate in a church,
Sharlene :  "as long johns are on the beach".
Priest: <laughs out loud> "yes"
Priest absolves me of all my sins and asked me to say the "Act of Contrition" which I never remember because of my nerves after confessing.  He says that it is posted right there for me to see at which time I have to inform him  that I'm almost 50, it's dark in there and I can't read it without my reading glasses.  He laughs and says "and you were wearing a bikini??!"
Sharlene:  <chuckle>  Yes, Father, is that a sin now?
Priest:  <chuckle>  No, go in peace, your sins are absolved, God Bless!
Sharlene:  <sigh of relief>  God Bless you Father
To myself, I said wow!    Destin here I come!! That was too cool and I left chuckling and giggling with such joy because it was like talking to a friend and sharing a secret.  I had a spring in my step and a heart as light as air.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Every Picture Tells a Story

In a nutshell:


Since we last met

I fell in love

Discovered black mold

And my love went untold.


Black mold

Raking my floors.

Up close and personal.  Me and these knee pads were best friends.

The wonderful man who helped me...I will never be able to thank him enough! God put him in my life at the right time.  He lost everything to Hurricane Katrina and had to rebuild...Hurricane Katrina left him with black mold so he was an authority on it. 

God is Good!

Where I slept for weeks. (I had to do this with 3 rooms!)

The finished product!  Worth all the work I put into it!

A happy camper now!


So there you have it....

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Where have I been?

Thought I'd stroll through J-Land and let everyone know what I've been doing.......

Monday, March 17, 2008

Isn't that pitiful?

Matthew's  "I miss my naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamy" look.


Monday, March 3, 2008

Bossier City 3/2/08

I think you could all say I was a bit starstruck to have Keith Urban's arms around me!  Oh yeah!  and my arms around him!!


Sunday, February 3, 2008


In this day and age it's so easy to lose hope.  Somehow I always seem to dig deep within myself and realize God's promises belong to me too.  Although life seems to send extreme highs and crushing blows all in the span of a few days, I always find it within myself to realize God's promises in all my highs and  b(lows).  I am thankful for life itself and what it has to offer me.  Tomorrow is a mystery and one I will embrace with all it's worth.  Yesterday gives me the strength to endure tomorrow.  The future holds all the promises that yesterday had but living in the present is what counts.  Therefore today is what matters.