4 TICKETS TO SEE LSU SATURDAY NIGHT...WHAT A WONDERFUL BOSS I HAVE!!
I feel so good today that I will share the best picture that has ever been taken of me.
I was at my parents today and this picture is on their dresser in their bedroom. In the picture frame, in the back of the picture, is a lock of my hair wrapped in a pink ribbon. Isn't that sweet?
My silly boy is with me this weekend:
I feel so damned good I don't know what to do with myself so I decided to share the worst picture ever taken of me.
Let me set this picture up. My dad and I used to go fishing together. I had two brothers but for some reason, Dad always took me. This particular fishing trip was when I was married to Brandi's dad. They own an island, off of the Gulf of Mexico, called Chenier au Tigre, (French for Land of the Tiger) I dearly loved going there and probably was one of the things I missed most about being married to him, the opportunity to go there to fish, crab, seine
( large net with sinkers on one edge and floats on the other that hangs vertically in the water and is used to enclose and catch fish when its ends are pulled together or are drawn ashore)
This particular trip, my Dad and I, had put out the gill net (which is illegal now) and we caught this huge garfish. We had a great time getting it out of the net and we were so proud of our "trash" catch. There's not much you can do with a garfish because the meat is mushy.
Please check out Brandi on the far right hand corner. If that ain't redneck with her can of beer full of koolaid in it. My grandmother loved beer and Brandi always wanted some and my grandmother would fill her beer can up with "beer".
I am 28 in this picture and don't look a day over 10 with my stick figure and cigarette dangling from my right hand.
LSU lost today so in the spirit of that I will talk about death.
A couple of months ago my cousin died. She was a year older than me. She was getting ready to come out of the mental hospital and she just dropped dead. No apparent cause. Died. The end to a very tormented life.
She is extremely happy right now except for one thing:
I went to the funeral home and they had her dressed in this god-awful purple suit. I thought to myself, she looks very uncomfortable lying there. I know she’s dead and doesn’t feel a thing but she just looks hot and stuffy in that suit. I never saw her in a suit during life so why would they put one on her for her trip to heaven?
The following weekend my daughter came to my house. I sat her down and told her my wish upon death. Death is not a comfortable subject with Brandi because she doesn’t like the idea of me dying, but I told her that it was likely that I would die in her lifetime. I really hated to break it to her but I had to. She laughed and allowed me to state the following:
Please do not put me in stuffy clothes. I want to be wearing a white negligee and if my nipples are stiff upon death and shows through the white material, please do not cover them with a bra! Lay some soft material between the nipples and lace. I know this is not an appealing thought to you guys out there, but deal with it, these are my wishes!
I mean, have you ever seen someone sleeping in a suit during life unless they are passed out from too much drinking? No one in their right mind goes to bed in a suit; therefore, I can’t imagine arriving in heaven in a dark heavy suit. I know if I’m wearing that, God will turn me around and tell me to put on more suitable clothes. I’m saving myself the trip back.
Also, I stated a wish for everyone to have a high old time, laughing and catching up with each other at my funeral. We all know that a funeral is usually a family reunion. I want everyone to laugh, dance and joke at my funeral simply because I believe death is a joyous occasion and if anyone is crying, I’ll be up in heaven laughing at their asses.
By the way, you are all invited! No, I’m not dying,at least not that I know of, but life should never be taken for granted.
Here today gone tomorrow.
Damn! LSU should have won! Now I’ve got everyone depressed!
I am going to have to fire the new lady in accounting. She has been with us since Wednesday and I was perfectly fine before she came. Now I find out that the reason I am disoriented, have night sweats and depressed is because I am pre-menopausal. She explains to me that I will soon start drying up and that I will need more moisturizers. Not only is she informing me that I am going to dry up but she’s trying to hook me up with her 60 something year old friend. I asked her if he liked dried up old women because that was what he’d be getting. She told me they had cremes for that problem. You know, at 47 almost 48, I am not ready to hear that. I thought I had many good years left in me and she has burst my bubble. Why the hell didn’t she tell me that before I eliminated all the men in my life?
Got to get on the stick before I dry up!
I have a Guardian Angel that I talk with. I think the other day he got tired of me calling him "Hey you" and nudged me into giving him a name. I had been meaning to name him, but I could never come up with the right name. So I told him that when I did I would surely let him know what it was. I was driving to work the other morning when obviously he nudged me harder than normal, because all of a sudden, out of no where I said "Okay Joey! Enough!" It’s truly remarkable because he became Joey at that moment and no longer a nameless angel. Joey has for a while been turning red lights green for me and finding me parking spaces closer to my destination. This morning he failed to turn the red light green for me. I hate this certain intersection where I have to merge into traffic and hurry into the left lane. If the light is green I can just go, but if it is red I have to stay in the right lane and merge into traffic and battle to get into the left lane before my turn, which is ½ mile down the road. As I said, this morning, he failed me, so I thought, BUT here is the rest of the story:
We have finally hired a new lady for the accounting department. She is in the office with me and we get along fabulously! She is a joy to work with and we have so much in common that I felt rather comfortable telling her about Joey even though she just started working with me yesterday. She clowned me about him and it was rather amusing when I was telling her about him failing me this morning and not turning my light green. "Martha" looked at me and she said; " he may not have turned the light green but I was there in the left lane to let you flow into traffic." And indeed she was and I had completely forgotten that. So he accomplished his mission in a totally different way than I expected. When Martha left this afternoon she told me to tell "Joey" to let her know when to leave her house in the mornings so she could be exactly where I needed her to be in the traffic flow.
As I was showering tonight, I realized what a joy, Joey has been for me these past few days and I regretted not naming him Joy, but then I realized if you remove the "e" he becomes joy...sometimes he’s a regular joe and sometimes he’s joy to me.
I also read today thatyou should speak out loud to your angel because they are not like God. They cannot read your thoughts, so if your angel isn’t responding to your calls, it’s possible he can’t hear you.
I have Joey on a mission right now.
No, I have not fallen off the deep end. I happen to truly believe in angels.
Every Wednesday from 7 pm to 8 pm, I do a Holy Hour, which is also called Eucharistic Adoration, in the Chapel at St. Mary Magdalen Church. It is an hour of prayer and worship. They try to have two people in the chapel at all times. On Wednesday, it is me and another lady, but sometimes other people come in to worship. Tonight a man came in to worship with us.
It is so quiet that you can hear a pin drop. As I am praying the rosary, I hear a heavy sigh and what I believe to be a hiccup, coming from the man. I do not look in his direction because it sounds to me like he is sobbing. I start praying fervently for this man to be relieved of all of his pain and suffering because obviously if he is going to let out a sob, it must be truly painful, whatever he is enduring.
A few minutes later, I venture a look in his direction, and it took everything within my power not to laugh at my piousness, because this man obviously had fallen asleep and let out a few snores, which I interpreted and heard as sobs.
I almost lost it! And then I smiled and silently thanked God for another journal entry.
I have successfully, without evidence, eliminated every male that I was dating. It was far easier than I thought it would be. All I did was tell them the truth. I figured telling them that their life depended on them staying away from the madness of a woman with a knife wielding tendency would do the trick. You know it’s truly remarkable how quickly they vanished. I was truly upset how little they cared about my state of well-being. They were so selfish as to only think of their lives. You just can’t find a good man these days! What ever happened to unconditional love? Putting your life into the hands of fate?
On a serious note, my medication is doing wonders for me. I see a tremendous difference in my outlook on life. I still have my emotional moments but they are so controllable and bearable now. I don’t have that feeling of dread anymore. I think that was the worst part of it all. Dreadful feelings.
The best part of all is the feelings of hope that I have now. I will all of a sudden smile and my heart will leap with a feeling of joy and hope. It’s a wonderful feeling! Sometimes I find myself laughing out loud by myself with stupid thoughts. That was unheard of before. Sometimes I wonder if I haven’t fallen off the other end? If there’s a fine line between love and hate then I’m sure there’s a fine line between sane and insane. I’ll let you know when I figure out which one I am.
Is depression a form of insanity? Please don’t answer that with "I don’t know". Research it and get back with me and if necessary lie to me. Remember the knife.
If you don’t hear from me in the near future, it’s because I have gone for my mamogram. It has been known to take them a very long time to find that part of my anatomy that requires squeezing. Most of the time they ask me why I even bother.
This is Brandi and Matthew at the same age. When this picture was taken of Matthew it reminded me so much of the picture I had taken of Brandi at the same age. I keep this picture on my refrigerator to remind myself how lucky I am to have had the opportunity to re-live Brandi in Matthew:
I am back from a funtastic weekend! My grandson enjoyed his Big Football Game. He was so mesmerized by it all. It was hot, humid and it rained We all got soaking wet but welcomed the coolness. Matthew wanted to come home with me and it was so heartbreaking to have to leave him. He stayed by my side, so afraid I was going to leave him. I don't think kids realize how much they miss someone until they see them again. Here are a few pics:
LSU 48 Mississippi State 17