Ajoleblon...A Cajun Tale

My photo
Lafayette, Louisiana, United States
This journal is a bunch of rants about nothing. Mostly lighthearted happenings in the life of a woman who is very simple and who wants for nothing but greatly appreciates whatever is given. You will find nothing profound here but hopefully something that will make you laugh and that's what I enjoy doing most. Being humorous. Fight all error, but do it with good humor, patience, kindness, and love. Harshness will damage your own soul and spoil the best cause.

Friday, December 30, 2005

In all my Weirdness

I have been tagged by both StupidSheetGuy and Hadonfield Myers to name 5 weird things about myself. I'm going to have to make these up because I don’t have a weird bone in my body.

1. My mouth is always moving and I'm not talking. Not a real weird thing in itself but 8 years ago I quit smoking and I now I have the habit of chewing gum. That isn't even weird, but if I don't have something in my mouth to chew on at all times, I end up chewing whatever is available inside my mouth, be it my tongue, my lips, or the side of my mouth.

2. The taste of water gags me so I've become an ice connoisseur. I eat at least a bag of ice a day. My favorite ice being the kind that is oblong with a hole in the middle. (Okay! I know I'm weird, but you asked for it!) I think this weirdness could also be in line with #1 since my mouth moves in this endeavor as well, but I choose to see it as different weirdness.

3. I love to rub a man's stomach. I have a stomach fetish. It relaxes me, but unfortunately it has the opposite affect on the man.

4. I am a Cajun, and I live amongst many Cajuns, but even they would find it weird that I listen to really bad Cajun music in my car. I am tuned in to www.kbon.com and most of the music is so bad, I have to laugh and people driving along next to me, assuredly, think I’ve lost my mind.

5. Last, but not least, I hate door knobs in public restroom and even in not so public restrooms. (Do you guys realize how many people don't wash their hands and use the door knobs immediately after doing their business?) I can enter any bathroom and never touch a thing. I'm always armed with paper towels or something other than my bare hands. GermX is a staple in my purse.

I tag:

MY COUNTRY LIFE (Mosie1944)

my brain is in pain (Garnett 109)

Waiting to Exhale.. (Jackie)

SERIOUSLY THOUGH (luvatalaff)

Inane thoughts and insane ramblings (Chris)

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Bye Bye 2005

As the New Year approaches and resolutions draw near, I have to ask myself if I want to be at the same place this time next year. If not, then what do I need to do to propel myself into a new direction? New Year's is always a time of reflection for me. Looking back on the year and taking assessments of myself and what I have accomplished. Looking back one last time on the sadness and crying, but also looking at all the joys and laughing. Ringing in the new and leaving behind the old things that are no longer useful to the person I want to become.

I have thought about this and the one thing I know without a doubt is, I want to work on my feelings inside. I would like to feel my mind and my soul in sync with one another. I want to feel beautiful inside and at peace with myself. I want to see what others see when they delve within my depths. I want to appreciate what God created in me and spring forth a joy that glows to all that surround me. I want a spiritual cleansing of body, mind and soul.

I also want to see the good in all that come into my path and appreciate what God has created in every human being. I want to see the good within everyone even the ones who appear to have not one iota of saving grace within them. I want to show them the goodness that God placed in their soul.

In 2006, I do not want to be self-seeking and selfish. I want to give more of myself. I want to live 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient

Love is kind

It is not jealous

nor pompous

it is not inflated

it is not rude

it does not seek it's own interests

it is not quick tempered

it does not brood over injury

it does not rejoice over wrongdoing

but rejoices with the truth

It bears all things

believes all things

hopes all things

endure all things

Love never fails.

And while I'm living Corinthians,  I want to find somewhere on this earth Solomon's Song of Songs 3:1-5

All night long on my bed
I looked for the one my heart loves;
I looked for him but did not find him.

I will get up now and go about the city,
through its streets and squares;
I will search for the one my heart loves.
So I looked for him but did not find him.

The watchmen found me
as they made their rounds in the city.
"Have you seen the one my heart loves?"

Scarcely had I passed them
when I found the one my heart loves.
I held him and would not let him go
till I had brought him to my mother's house,
to the room of the one who conceived me.

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.

I wish everyone a Joyous and Happy New Year. May God reign down his blessings on you and your family. May you all see the beauty within yourself and smile for all the world to see that, indeed, you are good!

                                                    

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Massage Update

I drank too much wine and the screwing didn't go too well.  My massager sprung a leak.  It was prematurely ejaculating everywhere.  I guess it was excited.

The hose was too stiff to work with (you know how it is when things are new).  I had to let it hang awhile so I could screw it good and proper.

We won't talk about the pulsating that caused.

A massage

I am having a glass of Chardonnay and afterward,  I am getting a massage but I have to do a little screwing first. 

 Everything comes with a price. 

 

I'll let you know if it was worth it.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Christmas Pictures

Here are a few pics I took of my favorite little man on Christmas morning.  I just know you are all dying to see them.

Here's my little Rocky Balboa.  He had a run in with a little boy at preschool.  Austin pushed him against a table and he has a black eye but of course when I tell him it's black he says "No!  Nammy it's blue" and of course he's correct.  With his missing two front teeth, he looks like a very abused child, but of course he's not.

I thought this picture was pretty cute with his shirt captioned "Having a Bad Toy Day" and then he opens a Barney tape and his tongue is sticking out to show his appreciation.

Son-n-law chilling out on the couch during these highly exciting festivities.  My daughter has delegated him to sleeping on the couch already.

Big old smile for the Elmo that knows his name.

I had to travel two hours to get to my Mom who is in the hospital with pnuemonia.  I know she's going to appreciate me posting this pic.  I drove there to cook for my Dad and brothers. Dad is peeking over the packages.

And here is me with my new shorter hairstyle.  I was so thoroughly pissed at my hairstylist but what the hell can  you expect from a Walmart Stylist. It was all one length and I asked her for LONG layers.  She didn't comprehend long.  You can tell by my smile I'm not too enthused.

             

 

                                                                            

Time for a highlight job...my roots are showing.  I promise I won't be going to Walmart for that.  Does Target have a hair salon?

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Piggish

  <<<<<<ME.   I feel like a tee cochon (little pig) I am literally rolling everywhere since I can't walk from being stuffed.   Oink!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

A Cajun Merry Christmas

                            

Here is the CAJUN 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS (another version).

Day 1 Dear Emile, thanks for the bird in the pear tree. I fixed it last night with dirty rice and it was delicious. I don't think the pear tree would grow in the swamp, so I swapped it for a Satsuma tree.

Day 2 Dear Emile, your letter said you sent 2 turtle doves, but all I got was 2 scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed them with andouille and made some gumbo out of them.

Day 3 Dear Emile, why don't you send me some crawfish? I'm tired of eating them darned birds. I gave two of those prissy French chicken to Mrs. Fontenot over at Grand Chenier, and fed the tird one to my dog, Phideaux. Mrs. Fontenot needed some sparring partners for her fighting rooster.

Day 4 Dear Emile, mon dieu! I told you no more of them birds. These four, what you call "calling birds" was so noisy that you could hear them all the way to Lafayette. I used their necks for my crab traps, and fed the rest of them to the gators.

Day 5 Dear Emile, you finally sent something useful. I liked those golden rings, me. I hocked them at the pawn shop in Sulphur and got enough money to fix the shaft on my shrimp boat, and to buy a round for the boys at the Raisin' Cane Lounge. Merci Beaucoup!

Day 6 Dear Emile, couchon! Back to the birds, you turkey! Poor egg sucking Phideaux is scared to death of those six geese. He try to eat their eggs and they pecked the heck out of his snout. Those geese are damn good at eating cockroachs around the house, though. I may stuff one of those geese with oyster dressing and serve him on Christmas day.

Day 7 Dear Emile, I'm going to wring your fool neck the next time I see you. Ole Boudreaux, the mailman, is ready to kill you too. The crap from all those birds is stinking up his mailboat. He is afraid that someone will slip on that stuff and they are going to sue him. I let those seven swans loose to swim on the bayou and some stupid duck hunter from Mississippi blast them out of the water. Talk to you tomorrow.

Day 8 Dear Emile, poor old Boudreaux had to make 3 trips on his mailboat to deliver those 8 maids-a-milking and their cows. One of the cows got spooked by the alligators and almost tipped over the boat. I don't like those shiftless maids, me. I told them to get to work gutting fish and sweeping my shack - but they said that it wasn't intheir contract. They probably think that they are too good to skin the nutria that I caught last night.

Day 9 Dear Emile, what are you trying to do? Boudreaux had to borrow the Cameron ferry to carry those jumping twits that you call lords-a-leaping across the bayou. As soon as they got here they wanted a tea break and crumpets. I don't know what that means but I said, "Well, j'connais pas! You get Chicory coffee or nothing". Mon Dieux, Emile, what am I going to feed all these couillions? They are too bourgeois for fried nutria, and the cow ate up all of my turnip greens.

Day 10 Dear Emile, you got to be out of your mind. If the mailman doesn't kill you, I will. Today he delivered 10 half nakid floozies from Bourbon street. They said that they are "ladies dancing" but they don't act like ladies in front of them Limey sailing boys. They almost left after one of them got bit by a water moccasin over by my outhouse. I had to butcher 2 cows to feed toute le monde (everybody) and get lots of rolls of toilet paper. The Sears catalog wasn't good enough for those bourgeois lords. Talk to you tomorrow.

Day 11 Dear Emile, where Y'at? Cherio and pip pip. You 11 Pipers Piping arrived today from the House of Blues, second lining as they got off of the boat. We fixed stuffed goose and beef jambalaya, finished the whiskey, and we're having a fais-do-do. The new mailman drank a bottle of Jack Daniels, and he is having a good old time dancing with the floozies. The old mailman jumped off the Moss Bluff bridge yesterday, screaming your name. If you happen to get a mysterious looking ticking package in the mail, don't open it.

Day 12 Dear Emile, me, I'm sorry to tell you - but I am not your true love anymore. After the fais-do-do, I spent the night with Jacque, the head piper. We decide to open a restaurant and gentlemen's club on the bayou. The floozies, pardon me, ladies dancing can make $20 for a table dance, and the lords can be the waiters and valet park the boats. Since the maids have no more cows to milk, I trained them to set my crab traps, watch my trotlines, and run my shrimping business. We'll probably gross a million dollars next year.

Have a                               

                 From Cajun Country

 

A special to

Premeditated Murder

When my son-in-law married my daughter he took my grandson (and her) 2 hours away from me. My grandson is the light of my life.  A child I saw daily until they married.  Now I see him perhaps every two weeks.  A big adjustment for me but I made it.

My son-in-law is an Assistant Coach and aspires to be a Head Coach and he has a chance of that happening for him in Farmerfuckingville, Louisiana which is 5 flipp'n hours  away from me. Farmerville?  What is wrong with Abbeville?  Can you say murder?  Can you say, I don't think this is an adjustment I can or want to make?

I've been saving my big time prayers for something big....and this is a biggie because I'm going to need to pray to keep myself out of jail if he decides to take this job.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Fickle Pickle

You know that word that starts with an "F" and rhymes with Pickle? Well that would be an apt description of me. Some have inquired how my new relationship is going. We can say it's going, going, gone.

I hope you didn’t blink because if you did, you missed it!

Something was missing. We went from never actually having an official "date" to having a "family". We were not afforded an opportunity to become one before we became 3, 4 and 5. I believe family is very important, and should definitely be entered into the mix, but I also feel you need to establish your own bonds before adding anything else.

I found myself, two weekends in a row (keep in mind, I've only known him 3 weekends) cleaning and picking up after everyone in my house. I was feeling a bit of resentment Sunday night at 10 pm when they were still here and he was wondering "what was wrong?". I smiled my normal gracious smile and snarled "nothing that your leaving wouldn’t cure".

Of course it wasn't just about that. I could actually deal with that. Retrain the brains is what I do best. Look what a great job I did during Rita with my family?

We really had very little in common. I love to dance, he doesn't dance. I love football, he is disinterested in it, I love music and concerts, he didn't. We didn't even agree on the same kind of movies. We ran out of things to talk about very quickly.

Okay, am I upset about it? Yes, because he appeared to be a dream come true and he was a dream but not for me. He was a good and wonderful man with beautiful children but I think we jumped too soon into a comfy relationship and call me selfish but I like being romanced.

Also, I have been taught a lesson, I will not rant or rave in my journal about a man in my life until we are good and married. I hate having to recant all my rants. It's quite embarrasing, but I'm being a woman about it. I could have just let this little thing go by without mentioning it, but since I made such a hoorah ha ha  about it, I feel you are all due some explanation. We were all in this together.

PS: For those of you who wondered if the pair I sent him were of his liking...they were.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Christmas Spirits

I figured after all the Christmas shopping, we all need a little Christmas spirits and I have just the place to get all the spirit you need.

As the sign indicates tomorrow would be a good day to imbibe...it's Two for Tuesday, but on Sunday's you can get real spiritual with the $17.00 per gallon.

Also I have found that using a drive thru keeps this from happening:

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Frazzled

Friday, December 16, 2005

10 Happy Things

I have been tagged by Gail in MN to list the ten things that make me happy.

Of course, the happiest moment is when my 3 year old grandson, Matthew, without provocation, looks at me and says "I laa you Nammy sooooooooo much!" 

Here are my other Happy Ten Thingies:

10.  Sand between my toes on a beach, listening to the sound of the surf, with  my eyes closed and the sun caressing my body.

9.   Old worn blue jeans against my skin.

8.   Unexpected midnight calls from someone I love.

7.   The relaxed feeling you get just before falling asleep.

6.   Lazy Saturday mornings.

5.   The kindness of J-Landers that I have come to know thru their journals.

4.   Dancing, Dancing, Dancing.

3.   Memories invoked by hearing an old song.

2.   God and his many mysteries sent into my life daily.

1.   Saying Merry Christmas to people who want to take Christ out of Christmas.

 

Instead of tagging anyone since everyone has been tagged, I'd like to ask that we all say a prayer for those people who do not know or will not have God in their life this Christmas season.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

My hot bed

I want all you guys to know that I do not have a man to warm my bed but I have the next best thing. 

All I have to do is turn it on about one minute prior to bedtime and when I get into bed it's wrapping me in it's warmness AND it doesn't require birth control or a trip to the confessional.

It takes away all the tensions of the day and makes me feel all warm and cuddly inside....

My very own heating pad.

God's Painting

I am on my way home this afternoon and in awe of the sunset that the Good Lord painted for us today.  It was the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen in my life.  I tried so hard to capture a picture of it, but being in the city, it was very difficult.  As I'm marvelling over this beautiful sight,  my cell phone rings and it's my daughter who lives 2 hours away. 

She says "Mom, please tell me you are seeing the same sky I am seeing!"

I said "Yes, I am, and it's gorgeous!"

She's exclaiming over how she is over the spillway and the sunset is reflecting off of the water and the moon is full and the stars are shining.  I am sure her vision of it was much more splendid than mine but nevertheless it had the same effect on us.

She was so overcome with joy and wonder that I am so thankful that God allowed us to see HIS beautiful work of art.

This was the best I could do to capture it.  It was a time I wished I would have been somewhere in the country.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Accidental Stupidity

Not only does it thunder when it rains, but idiots come out in the rain. Normal upstanding people become stupid when it rains. I just experienced stupidity at its finest.

What should have been a nice 45 minute ride home from work this afternoon turned into trip from hell. Throw in Christmas traffic and you have a nightmare on your hands.

Idiot #1: Baseball Jones decides he is going to skid/slide through the yellow light into oncoming traffic. He forgot that Pin Hook Road was not a baseball diamond and the yellow orb he was seeing was a traffic light and not a baseball.

Idiot #2: Faithful Frolicker was on a bicycle in the left turn lane going the wrong way. The only thing saving his happy ass was his faith in God and my strong desire, at all cost, to avoid another delay getting home .

Idiot #3: Tailgate Tuddy thought she was going to an LSU game. She got a little too tailgate happy and rammed herself into the truck ahead of her. Hey honey, that was not a drive thru margarita stop. You missed it about a mile back, or maybe you stopped, and thats the whole problem.

Idiot #4: Open Door Dora had a flat tire. Not a problem except she doesn’t close her door when she removes her carcass from the vehicle making everyone have to go around the car door. Shes steadily running her mouth to someone on the cell phone whilst leaning against the OPEN door.

Idiot #5: Kayak Karl forgot to secure his kayak firmly to the top of his van. Guess he was getting prepared for another flooding and a quick exit out of Louisiana.

What happened to people staying home and accidently conceiving during rainstorms?

Black Peter Controversy

This is pretty sad and embarrassing.  Only in the South could you imagine such a thing happening.

 

Black Peter

Monday, December 12, 2005

Cheesy Fetishes

I find myself in quite a quandary.

It seems my newfound friend has a fetish. Of course, all men, women and children, have a fetish of some sort, but I do not know if I can help this man with his. I have been asked to do many things in my life, but this one is a first.

Please do not get me wrong, I have had men who have had a liking to these, but never to the extent that they would request a picture of them. I realized, if I sent a picture and they were not to his liking, that it could well be the end of the relationship.

I searched the net for the perfect pair to send him because, naturally, I did not feel mine were adequate for someone with such a strong attraction to them.

After searching endlessly for the perfect pair, it dawned upon me that if I sent him a false pair, I would have to keep mine hidden for the duration of our relationship. My mind continued processing this information and I quickly came to the realization that I would have to send him the real deal. It would be impossible to hide that dishonesty for any length of time.

I bit the bullet, took out the digital camera and propped my pair upon the table, snapped the picture and off to cyber land it went. It does not bode well for me, I have heard nary a word from him. He’s either transfixed in lust over them or passed out in disgust.

Isn’t there a fine line between lust and disgust?

 

 

Sunday, December 11, 2005

The Third Date

Our third date started Saturday night and ended around 8pm Sunday night.  I think that qualifies for 2 dates, don't you?  It ended with us all going to Mass at 5:30 P.M. and then an evening meal at a local deli.

We had a wonderful weekend and I truly like and admire the way this man loves his children.  He is so affectionate toward them.  A lot of hugging and kissing and geniune love. He is a very caring individual and he doled out a lot of that affection towards me too.   It is just the sweetest thing to behold.

I don't know where it's headed,  but I know I have travelled many roads that have ended in dead ends.  Forgive me for being a little jaded and pessimistic. Am I ready for a family of 3 children? All I can do is hope....

Here are the pics of us.

Friday, December 9, 2005

Drive Thru

Can you say drive thru Margarita stop on the way home?  Okay, I'll wait till I get  home before I actually drink it.

Thursday, December 8, 2005

Old Loves and New Beginnings

I miss you.
I know we've said our good-byes,
and I know we've gone our
separate ways,
but I still miss you

I wish that people were like chalkboards,
and we could wash our memories clean.
But we're not.
And we can't.
Yet despite the anger that I feel sometimes,
I still miss you.

We were happy once,
and I remember those times.
I remember how we smiled and laughed,
and how you held my heart
in your hand.

I remember the tears and how I took my heart back,
bruised and slightly wilted.
But still, somehow,
I miss you,
and I just wanted you to know that
.

Poem by Jennie Whittington

 

Our lives take different directions, but it doesn't mean we don't remember, miss  and think of the people who we love and are dear to us from our past.   Letting go is the hardest thing to do but we have to in order to live our lives to the fullest.  We can't live in the past with "what ifs".  Sometimes, if life could stand still, for just a moment, maybe we could capture that dream which is elusive. 

God Bless you and always know there is a part of my heart that will always remain yours.

Third Date?

It seems that my second date will actually be my third date.

Did I mention that my new friend lives 1 1/2 hours away from me?  Yes, so seeing him will be sporadic, but I have learned that the desire to see someone outweighs the obstacles that are thrown in your path.  Obstacles, such as jobs, can be overcome, if the will is strong enough.

Tuesday night, Robert called me expessing a desire to see me yesterday.  He had the day off (in the middle of the week..imagine that?) and was wondering if he could meet me after work.  Well, after thinking awhile, I said that I was due for a day off also.  What good is the first flushes of love, if  you can't throw caution to the wind?

Yes, I was a bad bad girl.  I called in sick and spent the day with Robert.  We had a wonderful time and decided that we had much in common and a good chance of maintaining a long term relationship.  In other words, HE LIKES ME, and wants to date me exclusively to see where it takes us.   Since I am definitely not the type of person who can date around when I like someone, I felt it wouldn't be hasty to accept that offer.

I feel like a kid in a candy store whose parents gave her money to buy whatever she wants and the candy she is salivating over wants to be eaten.

 

Tuesday, December 6, 2005

My Second Date

Yes, there will be a second date, but this time I get the full packaged deal.  I get to meet his three children and also, my grandson will be joining us, along with my daughter and her husband.  

Matthew, my darling grandson, is going to be so confused since one of Robert's children is also named Matthew and his daughter's name is Lauren.  My grandson has a stepsister named Lauren. 

Yes, things are going quite rapidly.  Am I ready?  Yes I am.  I really like this guy and everything he stands for. 

It amazes me that it doesn't bother him that I've been married 3 times.  He simply states, it's not your past that counts, it's where  you are right now.

Right now, I'm right where I want to be and happy about the way my life is proceeding. God is good!

Sick and tired

Don't you just love it when you feel like total crap?  You're sick and you feel like the best thing for you would be to lie down and die and forget the world. 

Reality hits when you get home from work and you have a flyer in the mail for an advertisement for a funeral home.  WTF? 

And  you look at the prices and realize no matter how bad you feel and how enticing it would be to die at that moment, you just can't afford it.

Sunday, December 4, 2005

My first date

from: Robert To: Sam Date received: December 2, 2005 Subject:  RE: (no subject)

No, I'm not nervous. It's just you. Hahaha Ok, maybe a little. Honey, I'm sure the food will be great and you will also. You must understand something. I'm already impressed with you. You don't have to worry about being anything more than who you are and I understand what being nervous does to a person. It makes us act differently than we would normally act. It's just nervousness, that's all. In time you will be able to be yourself. Let's take it one step at a time. Shall we dance?

Robert

 

Yes, we danced and oh my God....I am smitten, bitten, and so impressed with this man's strong moral character. His beliefs and  respect for a woman is so evident in everything he does.

I am not jumping the gun and I'm being very cautious.  If all that we become is friends then I will be satisfied because he will make a fabulous friend to have around.

Even though our first date consisted of watching LSU lose to Georgia, I consider our first date as a success and I wanted to share my excitement with J-land. 

It's been a long year for me...



Friday, December 2, 2005

Christmas

I am so tired of hearing about 4% of the frig'n nation wanting to take Christ out of Christmas.  It's Christ's birthday, for Christs' sake,  that is why we have Christmas!  That is why we've always had Christmas. 

It's a frig'n Christmas Tree you bunch of idiots!  If you don't like it, move your ass out of this country.  Pronto!  Don't let the door hit you in the ass.

Damn, I don't like hamburger meat, but you don't see me trying to take the burger out of the bun, do you?  I just don't buy the sonsabitches. 

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas

 

F.....k   Happy Holidays