My first kiss

I was remembering my very first day of school. It is a day I will unlikely never forget because of a little boy named Bill Key. I sometime wonder whatever happened to that little boy that caused much grief on my first day of school.

Picture this little blond haired girl standing in line for lunch. Unsure of what to do. Very much wanting to go home to momma. I’m standing there playing with my hair, hopping from one foot to the other, and I know I can't possibly be appealing to any first grader, when the cutest boy with a crew cut walks up to me and kisses me on the back of the neck. Imagine my eyes? I'm sure they looked like saucers in my head. After that I surely could not eat a thing! My heart was all a flutter and I was so ashamed and didn't know what to do.

I had to go home and break the news to momma.  Her daughter was no longer a virgin where kisses from little boys were concerned. It only took one day out of her grasp and I was a girl with experience!

The very next morning, when I woke up, I could not lift my head from the pillow. I had a crick in my neck. I had no clue what was going on. I had to call my mother to come see what the matter was. She,  taking the opportunity to teach her daughter a very valuable lesson, informs me that is what happens when boys kiss you. They cause a pain in the neck. Well, lets just say the little boy got what was coming to him when I got to school. It was my one and only knock down drag out fight with the opposite sex.

He moved away in the third grade and I never heard from him again but throughout the years I’ve often wondered about him. I ended up having a school girl crush on him until he did move away. After all he was my first kiss and to this day I still like being kissed on the neck. Where ever you are Bill Key, thank you for the memory!

Tagged to do my ABC's

I've been tagged by The Hadonfield Myers Experience to say my ABC's.

A. Astute 

B. Buck toothed Buck skinned

C. Convincingly Cunning

D. Delirious

E. Effortlessly Efficient

F. Funtastically Fruited

G. Gruelingly Gullible

H. Happily Holy

I. Irritably Insatiable (NO I don't have IBS)

J. Juxtaposedly Jinx ed

K. Know it all Knit wit

L. Lurid

M. Mysteriously Misfitted

N. Nefarious

O. Odor free Odor Eater

P. Plenty Pliable

Q.Quintessentially Quizzical

R. Rambunctious Raconteur

S. Satisfyingly Sating

T. Tolerable

U. User friendly

V. Vixen

W. Wily Woman

X. Xenophobic

Y.  Yoo Hoo Yahoo

Z.  Zit faced (not the same as shit faced)

Now I know my ABC's, tell me what you think of me?

 

I tag

Gail in the Tundra

Jackie (Waiting to Exhale)

Lelly (Sangria Times)

Feminine

When I was about 11 years old my vocabulary was not as extensive as it is now. There were meanings to some words I did not know. Surprised?

I was a very prissy little girl. Always had my hair brushed perfectly and not tomboyish at all. Everyone always commented on how I was always so neatly presented. I think my Mom had a lot to do with that. I slept in curlers every night until I was of an age where I told my mom "enough!"

My Godmother was someone I thought highly of and I would become very upset at the idea that she would think badly of me. My cousin, (the thirteen year old witch who inducted me into adulthood by finding my dad's trash books and giving me one to read...she taught me everything I didn't need to know at a very young age) well, one particular day, my Godmother was visiting along with the witch of a cousin and apparently my Mother and Godmother were talking about how "feminine" I was. Overhearing the conversation, I, of course, did not know what feminine meant so I decided to ask my cousin, Darlene, the witch.

She, knowing how I was, decided to tell me it was something awful and I really wouldn't want to know what it meant. I was devastated and started crying. After my Godmother left, I went to my mother and asked her why they had said such horrible things about me? My mother was clueless, so I explained what I was referring to.

My mother sat me down and told me exactly what "feminine" meant and to this day I’ve been very proud to be called that!

  The story behind this picture and my gorgeous hair: My mother, as I said, always had me in curlers at night.  This particular day was picture day and apparently a very damp day.  After removing my curlers, she pinned my hair in this uptight looking roll, instructing me to take it down before having my picture taken.  Of course, I'm in the third grade and completely forgot!  Imagine my mothers surprise when the pictures arrived in her hands?  Her darling little girl looked like Princess Leia somewhat undone.

One hellava Week!

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50 things

I was tagged my Gail in the Tundra to list 50 things you might not know about me and would probably never think to ask. The only problem is in the list of 50 the following numbers are missing #11 and 21 - 28 so I decided to invent the questions and answer only those:

 #11  Are you happy right this minute?  Yes

#21   Would you share your toothbrush with someone you loved? No, I always keep an extra just in case...I wouldn't want to make that decision.

#22   Does someone love you?  Yes

# 23  Does size matter?  Yes, the size of someone's  heart matters.

#24  What kind of candy would you say closely resembles love?  Red Hots.

#25   What closely resembles contentment to you?  A shoulder to rest my head on and a hand full of Red Hots.

#26  What name symbolizes love to you?  Jesus

#27  Have you ever eaten cereal out of a wine glass?  Yes, I'm doing it now.

#28  Do I love myself?  Yes

So there you have it...me in a nutshell.

 

Nothing wins hearts like cheerfulness

 

Shirtless

It's really strange in the course of one day what will flow through your mind from your past. I have decided that I will write about these happenings that naturally flow through this otherwise lifeless brain.

Growing up I was the only female sibling in my family and my brothers had the privilege of running around without shirts during the summer. This didn't seem to faze me until I reached the age of 9 or so. It was one warm sunny summer day and my brothers were running around with no shirt on. I decided to ask my mom if I could do the same. She explained to me that little girls should always keep their shirts on (thanks Mom I still have a complex about removing my shirt) She decided after enough begging to give me my way.

I remember so vividly removing my shirt to join in the games with my brothers. But lo and behold, it felt soooo foreign to me. I felt, I’m sure, like Eve after she ate the forbidden apple. Naked, instead of free, like I thought I’d feel. I remember crossing my hands over my then invisible (still semi-invisible) buds. Finally after no more than 5 minutes I walked to my mother and requested my shirt back. Once again she was right, but I realize it’s only because she never allowed me to run freely without a shirt; therefore, I was never accustomed to it. Had she let me, I would probably still be gracing people with that horrendous sight.

Which brings me to something I just thought about. My grandmother, whom I seem to remember a lot about, never took a bath without her bra and panties on. She said that she cringed at the thought of dying unexpectedly and someone finding her naked in the bathtub. I, of course, felt it necessary to tell her that she probably would look more strange lying dead in a tub full of water with her bra and panties on. Furthermore, I said, you would be dead and not conscious of the snickering going on about your nudeness.

I'm off to take a shower in my bra and panties.

No wonder I have phobias.

Me VS Grandma

After my date, I was thinking of taking the next step with my new friend and possibly holding hands. *snicker* Then I realized how things have changed since my grandmother's courting days. She has on many occasions told me that her and my grandfather never even held hands before marriage. The closest they came to being near each other was sitting about a foot apart on the couch. I asked her if it was a shock to her to realize the extent of what she had gotten into on her wedding night. The only thing she knew was what her mother told her and she had to do what her husband requested of her. It was a blessing that it came as a pleasant surprise to her because she thoroughly enjoyed what he had to show her. I guess we all have some clue of our sexuality and what goes on even before we are actually told. I can't imagine being that clueless.

I do remember, at the tender age of ten, the first time I learned what a man and a woman did in the privacy of their bedroom. It wasn't the most pleasant learning since it came from a book my 13 year old cousin confiscated from my Dad's stash. I will never forget the name of that book "The Insatiable Itch". I didn't even know what "insatiable" meant but I soon learned! Don't ask me who the author was because the writing inside was not what I considered literature. The first chapter was a real eye opener for me. I could not fathom the workings of some of the things going on but I had a feeling I shouldn't have been reading it but even at that age I couldn't put it down. I had to know!

Fast forward about a year and a half later when my mom decides its time to tell me about the birds and the bees. Talk about lame compared to what I already knew!

At the age of 13, I had my first boyfriend come over to my house, and mother catches me kissing him. She calls me into the room to explain to me what happens to a man when he gets excited. (OMG..I shit you not, she uses a jock strap to demonstrate...it was a priceless moment in time and I'm thinking, where the hell did she get that?) For some reason I had forgotten my first learning of this in "The Insatiable Itch" or maybe I just hadn't comprehended the full extent of it. Anyway, once my mom refreshed my memory on the workings of the male body, I had to hurry back to the living room and test her theory. And I’ll be damned if she wasn't right on target! Thank God that young man respected me because had he not, I could have gotten far more than I bargained for.

Yes, we've come a long way, but sometimes I think we've come way too far. I wonder what it would be like to sit one foot apart from someone that you truly care about and never hold hands or kiss. I think it would be impossible therefore my grandmother has either lied to me or she had steel running through her veins.

Yippie!

       This is the smile of a women who just found out her grandson will not be moving because son in law did not get the job.  Sorry SIL, I wish you the best, but thank you Lord!

BTW, my dinner date went well.  My food preparation turned out good, he served himself twice AND he took a plate home for lunch tomorrow.  He makes a great margarita too!

I behaved myself.  He left my house with all of his virtues intact!  I did not corrupt him nor change his religion to benefit my purposes.  I was a complete angel. 

Here is my Mardi Gras tree complete with beads.  How tacky can you get??  I had the nerve to invite a gentleman of class to my house with this thing in my living room.  LOL

Matthew

I love this little boy! Just looking at a pic of him does my heart good!  Never in my life can anyone make me as happy as a smile from this little man!

It's looking more and more like they will be moving away from me.  The top contender for the head coaching position that my son in law is vying for has dropped out of the race.  I thought that if he got the position that they would not be leaving until the end of the school year.  Well it seems that it will be February when and if he gets the job.  I truly want what is best for his career but I am so saddened at the thought of them being farther away. 

If I could explain one tenth of what I feel for that little boy it would not say enough.  You take the child you conceived and you multiply it by infinity. If someone would have told me that I would ever gush over a child like this, I'd have told them they were losing their mind!   

 

TGIF

Obviously I don't know how to paste a smiley into a blog just yet....I tried but all I got was a darned HTML code.  LOL

 

My daughter

My daughter is a nutcase.  I was chatting with her about my dating and how some guys can be overly romantic and she,  off the top of her head comes up with these words. 

Guys feel free to steal them:

 SuzybKewl [7:38 PM]:  come heartha, be of my presence, into my eyes, my heart longs to be near your soul...I need to breathe you, to taste you, to love you as no other man can.  I can be your air in which you breathe me over and over...and so on and so forth

Weekend Thumbs Up Sunday Date

The only thing I will say about my Sunday date is he made me so happy that I wasn't married and  I have the opportunity to date and get to know him better.  We have our third date next Sunday.

Here is what makes me smile about him   and he's the perfect gentleman!

Saturday Night Special

I thought I could get away without having a long drawn out entry about my dates but it seems several of you want details. All names will be changed to protect the innocent.

Saturday night began with a jaunt over to Barnes and Noble with my Dad and daughter to see a local act, Jaryd Lane, from Kaplan Louisiana (that's where my dear old Dad hails, hales, hells (you pick) from). www.jarydlane.com  He is a Country/Blues singer who is an up and coming new star.

I figured since we were already there it would be a good place to meet Mr. Saturday Night Special. First of all let me give you a very apt description of Mr. S.N.S. He is possibly the closest thing to an Alan Jackson (country singer for those of you who are not fans) lookalike that I've ever seen. He is a 38 year old; 6'4; 235# of Southern good looks! Imagine my nervousness to meet this guy especially with Paw and Daughter inconspicuously lurking over the "Yeah Right Sharlene this is gonna work" section at Barnes and Noble to see their first glimpse of him.

He arrives promptly at 9pm as we had planned. I introduce him to daughter and paw after introducing him to myself. (I warned him prior that they were busybodies and wouldn't leave). He picks me up in his big old hunky arms and swings me around like I'm mincemeat. I'm looking at him, and thinking, oh no you didn't just do that!

The busybodies leave and him and I walk over to Starbucks to get acquainted. We are sitting there when I look over to my right and see Ms. I'm Going to Kill You Soon Daughter, standing at the window with her lips puckered up in kissing motions.

I looked at Mr. S.N.S. and said "I think we need to leave". We hop into his Ford Truck and I think we are safe and there she comes tearing out her parking spot, honking her horn to the tune of "Mama He's Crazy".

I have physically met Mr. SNS for a total of 10 minutes and he is a nice guy with all the special qualities that some woman will be proud to have one day. He reaches over and kisses me. (Where the hell are you when I need you daughter!) I'm in total shock that this has come so soon in our meeting. I realize my lips are tempting but this is ridiculous! I start sputtering (for reasons I will never reveal in a public forum).

We proceed to Chili's, our first stop of the evening, for dining. I need a stiff margarita, leave everything out except the alcohol, at which time I find out he doesn't drink. Oh have mercy! I need a drink NOW. He obliges me and even has one himself. Thank you Lord!

We are sitting there chitchatting and he's proclaiming his adoration for me while clasping my hands in his from across the table. I'm totally in shock of the whole situation. He is quite the smooth talker. I’m trying to make conversation other than about me (what a change that is!) I discover that he doesn't drink, dance, go to concerts, lounges, or anything I like to do. I’m not a barfly but I do like to have a few and dance. Nadda for him.

After we finish eating, I asked him what he wanted to do? His response? I just want to get out of here so I can kiss you again. Now I'm distressed and thinking "I don't want to ever leave...Waitress bring me a cot...I'm sleeping here tonight!"

We leave too soon and walk out into the cold air and he wraps his arms around me and tries to kiss me again. I allow a hug.

We've decided on the movie theater. I've decided to sit in the very front so as to have no chance of any hanky panky going on. The movie, as luck would have it, is a tragic love story, Tristan and Isolde. He held my hand and my hand fell asleep and I removed it from his. He later grabs it again. We played handsies throughout the movie.

I couldn't wait for the evening to end. I am just not the touchy-feely type right off the bat (now maybe had he known about the wine). The whole evening left me with a very bad taste in my mouth. (literally) We arrive back at my car and he grabs me up again into a swing, big hug and kiss.

I left knowing I would never have that experience with him again. The next step was breaking the news.

 

Tomorrow:

Mr. Sunday Evening Coming Down

Weekend Dates

In case you all were interested in how my dates went this weekend.

Saturday night:

 

Sunday afternoon and evening:

The Potty

One quick entry before I head out to my movie date. 

I had the privilege of having my adorable grandson here for the weekend.  He is 3 1/2 and refuses to be potty trained.  We have tried but he throws a rant whenever you try to make him go to the toilet.

So Nammy here, trying her best to help him out tells him, "My angel, you don't have to potty, just go sit on the toilet for a while." 

Well, I'm so excited I have a digital camera to catch what this little shit did:  Would you look at the sarcasm and defiance in his face!

He actually walked into the bathroom and put the toilet seat down so that he could sit on it. 

No Match

Is there a tactful way of saying that since I've joined Match.com, I'm having a blast and dating a lot?  In the past, as with my last new friend, I've always ended up liking someone, and immediately shutting down every other option in my life.  Settling,  so to speak.

I promised myself this time that I was going to take it slow, develop friendships and have a good time. (this is foreign to me) I am not a player and I have been very honest with everyone I've been in contact with, letting them know exactly what my agenda is and explaining to them my old patterns in which I do not want to repeat.  In my opinion, honesty is the key.   (I just won't tell them what a bottle of wine will do) 

So, having said all that, if I'm not writing in my journal, that is why, I'm out being a new me as I said I would do in my New Year's journal entry.

But, I promise, if I have some really funny or even heartbreaking  news to share from my dating experiences, you know I will be on here faster than flies on .......yeah that stuff.

 

 

Attic Climbing

I have renewed my commitment to my body. I will start taking better care of it and exercising daily. I have joined Match.Com and damned if all those men don't want a "fit" person. I'm fit! Fit to be had and fit to be tied! (okay guys don't get any ideas!) I honestly didn't think I needed all that much work, but now I know differently.

I decided to finish decorating my Mardi Gras tree with a few Mardi Gras beads but they are in the attic. Of course, before I go into the attic, I remember the words of my wise old grandmother, telling me at my declining age, she wishes there would always be someone with me, in case of an untimely accident. Damn Grandma!

I chew on this for a while and call my daughter on my cell phone. I tell her I am going into the attic for beads and that I have left my door unlocked in the event that my unfit ass falls down the attic stairs, she can call the neighbor to come see about me.

Well, I didn't fall down the stairs, nor could I find any of the beads but what I did discover is, I am indeed unfit. When I came downstairs again, I was out of breath. I decided at that point that I would start an exercise program and stick to it. If I were to find a man on Match.Com, I damned sure wanted to pass out from passion rather than from being unfit.

The Epiphany

Today is the Epiphany.  Time for all of us Catholics to take our CHRISTmas tree down.  There's only one problem.  As much as I love to put a tree up, I detest taking it down, therefore I find creative ways to keep it standing and since mine is small and artificial, it will remain standing.  The nativity stays up too.  We should always be reminded throughout the year of the birth of Jesus.

Of course, we have Mardi Gras coming up and today I  heard the first Mardi Gras song of the season.  Would you like to sing it with me?

http://mfile.akamai.com/3178/wm2/muze.download.akamai.com/2890/us/uswm2/085/138085_1_07.asx

Mardi Gras Mambo Mambo

Mardi Gras Mambo Mambo

Down in New Orleans

Ah!  How sad that the Mardi Gras in New Orleans will not be the same this year, but I promise you, we will still enjoy it elsewhere in the state.

Eating our King Cakes and discovering the babies inside.

History of the King Cake

image courtesy mardigrasstore.com The Mardi Gras season begins on January 6 and continues until Fat Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday. During this time of year, one of the most beloved traditions in New Orleans is that of the King Cake.

On the Christian calendar, the twelfth day after Christmas is known as "Epiphany", "Twelfth Night", or "Kings Day." It is the day the gift-bearing Magi visited the baby Jesus, and is celebrated with its own unique rituals.

The New Orleans tradition, begun in the 1870s, borrows heavily from European customs. As part of the celebration of Mardi Gras, it is traditional to bake an oval cake in honor of the three kings - the King Cake. The shape of a King Cake symbolizes the unity of faiths. Each cake is decorated in the traditional Mardi Gras colors: purple represents justice, green represents faith and gold represents power. A small baby, symbolizing the baby Jesus, is baked into each cake.

In New Orleans, King Cake parties are held throughout the Mardi Gras season. In offices, classrooms, and homes throughout the city, King Cakes are sliced and enjoyed by all. Like the biblical story, the "search for the baby" adds excitement, as each person waits to see in whose slice of cake the baby will be discovered. While custom holds that the person who finds the baby in their slice will be rewarded with good luck, that person is also traditionally responsible for bringing the King Cake to the next party or gathering.

The traditional King Cake is made from twisted strands of cinnamon dough, topped with icing, and sprinkled with purple, green, and gold colored sugar. Today, many additional varieties of King Cake are also available, with fillings such as cream cheese, strawberry, apple, and lemon.

 

May the God of love and peace set your hearts at rest and speed you on your journey; may he meanwhile shelter you from disturbance by others in the hidden recesses of his love, until he brings you at last into that place of complete plenitude where you will repose forever in the vision of peace, in the security of trust, and in the restful enjoyment of his riches.

- St. Raymond of Penafort (1175-1575)

Is the year still new?

Well I hope we all made it through the first day of the year and we all had our cabbage and blackeyes for good luck in 2006.  I had an eggroll and a spoon of blackeyes.  How's that for gourmet dining? 

I could have dined at the nursing home with my grandmother and her ideas of setting me up with a fellow dining partner. 

My grandmother hates to see me alone.  She comments on my sad state of being every time I visit her.  She told me that there was a "younger" man that sits at her dining table.

Bear in mind my grandmother is 93 so anything younger than 80 is young and available for her granddaughter.  She told me that he isn't all there in the head but a very nice man. 

Thanks grandma!  That's all I need is an old man to take care of who isn't all there in the head.  Wouldn't you know my luck?  It's dinner time? We proceed to the dining room because, of course, I can't wait to see this specimen, that she feels is "the one" for me. 

Is she trying to get this old man a free ride out of the nursing home?  Does she have a calling from God to free the lost souls in the nursing home?  I digress. 

We arrive at the dining table and there before me sits a man that is wheelchair bound.  No younger than 80 and Lordy Lordy he forgot his teeth in his room.  My grandmother asked me to be a dear and go fetch them. 

Well I hate doorknobs in public places so you know  how I'm going to hate handling these teeth.  I'm praying with all my might "please Lord, let them be in a container" so as I don't have to reach inside a glass of miracle whitening formula to retrieve them.  Whatever happened to Fixadent and leave them?  Doesn't he watch commercials? If he's "the one" and before I take this man home, he's going to discover Fixadent!  I will not become his false teeth retriever. Woof!

I arrive in his room, and there before me, sits his clappers.  Not in a container, not even in a glass of liquids, but sitting on his nightstand searching for a mouth to jump in.  I looked around for a kleenex, because had they been my teeth, I would not have wanted foreign hands on them, even though, God only knows what crawled upon them whilst they were lounging upon the nightstand soaking up the urine smells of the room. 

Oh joy!  There before me, my savior!  A box of kleenex.  I grab one, wrap it around the clappers, and proceed back to my love.  All the while thinking, please don't make me have to put them in his mouth when I arrive back.

He is sitting there in conversation with my grandmother.  Smiling like he had a mouth full of teeth.  I hand him his lost treasure wrapped like a gift in kleenex.  He gratefully takes them, thanking me profusely, while suctioning them to his gums.

Yep, with grandmothers like that, who needs Match.com?

New Year's Day!

Happy New Year!  Hope everyone is having a fantastic day.  It's a New Year and a new me...time to change the picture on my sidebar.  Revamp the journal.  New colors.  One day I'll learn how to do the fancy stuff.  Anyone out there want to give me instructions?

I've started my New Year's Resolution.  I'm headed to the nursing home to visit some old peoples.  It's 80 degrees outside!  Can you imagine?  I've got my sleeveless shirt on New Years Day!

Have a great one...