There probably has only been very few occasions in my life that I have met someone that I've hit it off with right away.
Sometimes you meet someone and you like the way that they look and you are physically attracted to them, there is chemistry, and they have many great qualities, but they may have so many other areas that you are not compatible with them. Those are the ones you marry and you love, but no matter how much you try, it just doesn't work out because some vital part is missing.
Or you may meet someone that you like everything that they are about, but you just don't have that chemistry that makes you click. Those are the ones that you become very good friends with. My friend Bill is a prime example of that happening and you remain great friends through thick and thin.
There are those that you meet again that are childhood loves. The ones you love dearly because you share a history together, and a very close common bond, but you quickly realize that no matter how hard you try, or how much you love them, you can't go back. Too many bridges crossed and obligations have entered your life to enable you to become what you wished you could have been with them.
Sometimes, you look at life and ask yourself, what am I looking for? What do I want and what would make me complete? As long as I can remember, I have been Catholic. I've been taught and believed there is a right way to do things and a wrong way. The Catholic church teaches and I firmly believe that sex before marriage is not right. I believe making love should be sacred and between two people who love each other and not just for the physical need of it. I believe marriage is a sacrament and I believe in the annulment process which I am going through right now. (For those who know I've been married 3 times, according to the church only #1 has to be annulled. The others are not recognized in the church as a sacrament. Also, I'm not annulling the marriage, I'm annulling the sacrament. The marriage was valid by law)
It has always been my dream to find someone and marry once again in the Catholic church. Some of you out there may ridicule my medieval ways and I respect your thoughts, but I'm not here to please you, but myself and what I believe is right. I've often erred in my ways by trying to conform to other people's beliefs and my own fleshy ways. I believe that's where most of my sadness has manifested itself in not doing what my heart truly believes. I would always give in to the flesh.
In searching for a lifetime partner, I believe your common morals and values should be similar. And if they are not, you should at least respect the other for their beliefs and help them along their personal journey. Not just lip talk but in action as well. I have come across many men who have talked the talk but when it came time to walk the walk, well lets just say they fell short and so have I.
Enter another kind of guy, one who believes what you believe, and you are physically, mentally and spiritually attracted to him. He wants all the same things you want. He's not scared to tell you all of his faults and imperfections. He lays them out on the table for you just in case you may not be able to deal with them. He is not scared to share his faith and he's not afraid to say, when and if he ever marries again, it will be the right way (according to our beliefs which doesn't mean yours isn't right). In the Catholic church and if he has his way the relationship will not be consummated until the wedding night. He's also intelligent enough to realize that having met me, it's going to be damned difficult to uphold those morals and values, but if he has someone as strong willed about it as he is, and God is firmly planted between us, then I think it's very possible should things happen to head in that direction for us.
Okay, we just met yesterday, and I damned sure didn't expect to click with someone 7 years younger than me. I was just out to have a good time and he was handsome, ex-marine, fine as wine and I didn't even think he'd look at me twice. Of course none of that mattered, what mattered most, was his religious views. That's what made him most attractive to me and the fact that he had clean fingernails... (now you guys know I couldn't go through an entire entry without saying something off key)
It's definitely too damned soon to predict anything, but God is orchestrating my life and he's done a damned good job of it so far, I will let him continue doing his magic.