I love alone...I mean live alone and if I want anyone to talk to I have to do all the talking to myself. Sometimes it gets to be very boring but there are times I have lively conversations with myself. It’s a continuous dialogue between Sam and my inner self. One such exchange just took place while I was showering and I realized I forgot to buy shaving cream today while on my weekly dreaded trip to Wally World. The conversation went like this:
Sam to her inner self, "Piss, Shit and Corruption I forgot to buy shaving cream!"
Inner self, "Oh crap! That means razor burns"
Sam, "Quit complaining. You know you should have made a list!"
Inner self, "Oh shut up Sam! I could give a rat’s ass what you think!"
Sam, "I’ll just make a quick run into Walmart tomorrow and get it so don’t worry."
Inner self, "You're a lying sack of shit, you know you avoid Walmart like the plague and you’ll do without until your next weekly trip."
Sam ,"Quit arguing with me...I know exactly what I’m going to do and I don’t need you telling me otherwise."
It’s tough being me. My Inner self has a potty mouth that I have to put up with but I have a bit more class.