In my previous journal entry, I alluded to a gift I would be receiving New Year’s Eve. Little did I know how much of a gift it would be nor how much it would reveal to me about myself and my creator. God provides people in your life to teach you things about yourself and how much you can handle with his help and love.
I met a very extraordinary person this New Year’s Eve. Someone I connected with on many levels during many hours of phone conversation. He was someone I laughed with and shared beautiful uncharted territory.
I tried to tell him through all these conversations that talking on the phone and actually meeting someone in person is two different things. He was so convinced that everything would be picture-book perfect and chemistry would abound. I, being the veteran of this, knew otherwise, but I left him with his fantasies.
We met at my home after waiting what seemed like years instead of weeks. The chemistry was immediate and the connection was there but somewhere in my heart I knew something was not quite right with all this. There was the ten year age difference that I kept harping on but he kept pooh-poohing away time and time again. I think we both saw and felt the age difference immediately. He, looking 10 years younger than his 38 and my feeling grandmotherly, I don’t think I could overlook it but I gave it one hell of a whirl.
We spent New Year’s Eve wrapped in denial. Enjoying the bliss of chemistry. Sometime during the middle of New Year’s Day, reality set in. Something he saw in me previously had changed for him. I felt it and understood it. I asked God to please not let anything happen between us that either one of us would regret and through divine impotence he granted my wish.
What did I learn? The capacity for which I can care about a person and wish for them the best journey in life. I learned honesty and connection that doesn’t have to end in the pursuits of sexual activity or a long term relationship. I learned about the decency of a man beyond all comprehension. I learned about the love of God for his creatures if only one will ask for what is right. What a wonderful gift from God.
Alix, you are a beautiful person and I respect your honesty and thank you for the brief time we spent together. God has his reasons and for just a moment my heart soared.
6 comments:
ahh that was sweet, Missy
I never tire of reading of the happiness you experience, nor of the wisdom and intelligence with which you approach every aspect of your life. I can't think of a better way for you to have spent your holiday, and I hope those memories will live on for a long time to come!
Happy New Year!
Jimmy
you are right the is more to life then sex .
Have agreat New Year
It sounds like you had a good time with a new friend and that is more important than sex. Happy New Year. Linda
Wow.. that is just so intensely beautiful... I am glad that the two of you reached an understanding, even after having spent some "quality' time together..
Hugs
Jackie
From the Book of Sam, Chapter 12, Verse 7:
Sam prayed steadfastly to the Lord, beseaching him to remain with her through her night of tempation, lest she fall to temptation.
And the Lord spake, "Verily, I will gird thy loins with the cotton granny-panties of chastity and like I have smitten the Phillistines and Caananites, surely I will smite down the mightiest rod."
When daylight came, Sam found that the Lord thy God kept his covenant with her. She proclaimed, "Surely God is has created the miracle of divine impotence. He hath 'spoiled the rod' to 'spare his child'"
Sigh......you have to admit....that is funny!
Chris
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