YOU KNOW YOU LIVE ON THE GULF COAST WHEN:

YOU KNOW YOU LIVE ON THE GULF COAST WHEN:

You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.

You have more than 30 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.

Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti Os.
 
You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.
 
When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three
bedrooms, two baths and one safe hallway.

Your SSN is written in Sharpie on both your arms.

You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.

You are delighted to pay $3.50 for a gallon of regular unleaded.
 
The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
 
You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the top of the house.
 
You own more than three large Igloo coolers.
 
You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.

You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking "It'll only take a gallon of gas to get there and back"

You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your freezer.

Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator in complete darkness.
 
You catch a 13-pound catfish.  In your driveway.
 
You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.

You consider taking a "vacation" to stunning Tupelo, Mississippi.
 
At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.

You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
 
There is a roll of tar paper and two rolls of plastic in your garage.
 
You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather channel.
 
Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
 
Ice is a common topic of conversation.
 
Your "drive-thru" meal consists of MRE's and bottled water.
 
Relocating to Alaska does not seem like such a crazy idea.
 
You spend more time on your roof than in your living room.

You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a  tree trimmer worker.

A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.
 
You don'tworry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.
 
Your child's first words are "hunker down" and you didn't go to Ole Miss!
 
Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas.
 
Toilet Paper is elevated to an absolute necessity at the shelters.

You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad side."
 
Your kids start school in August and finish in July.

You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.