The Halloween Blues

In celebration of my 47 years on earth I went out to a Halloween Party.  I could not decide if I wanted to be a cow

Or a Racy Rabbit (as the Costume Package stated)  Doesn't look like anything to me.  One guy asked me what I was

I said  "anything you want me to be"

He said "mine"

I said "It's Halloween not Valentines Day!"

Brandi  (my daughter) was a naughty school girl

Didn't matter what we were with these two Ho Mama's with us...My Godchild Dennie  (Ms Ho Peep) and her Sister Kristi (Ms Ho Cop)

If Ms Ho Peep could have held her liquor she may have won the costume contest but instead the Hooter Girls (aka really guys dressed up as Hooter Girls)  won....and I did for the first time in my life feel up and manhandle a Hooter Girl.  Yee Doggy! Hot Damn. He said it was the first time he'd ever been felt up by a grandma.  It was hilarious!

But all in all I think I would have had a better time staying home with:

When I got home I grabbed him out of my Dad's bed (he was here to pick up my Mom since they finally got electricity) and put him in mine and I was in heaven!  The best birthday gift ever!

Happy Witch Day!

Happy Halloween!

Today is my holiday.... 

I can ride my broom and no one will notice.

Birthday Wishes

Today is my birthday.

Happy Birthday to me!

Happy Birthday to me!

Happy Birthday Dear Me!

Happy birthday to me!

And many more!

Today I am 27 years older than I was when I turned 20. You do the math.

Today I look too old to be this young......I mean I am too old to look this young. Yeah that’s it!

Today is the day I skip the candles on my cake and just light the cake.

Imagine my surprise when I got myself a digital camera for my birthday. I was so excited when I opened it! See it takes much clearer pictures than that old camera phone. Now you will be able to see all my wrinkles when I take pics. :)

I was born in the month of Breast Awareness..what a joke...I have always been aware that I have no breasts...who needs a month to commemorate that? Oh! it's Breast Cancer Awareness....glad that was clarified! Time to slam the refrigerator door on the breast month. All you gals out there old like me...I mean over 40...GO HAVE A MAMMOGRAM!

I bet you thought you’d get away without hearing a breast story. Wrong!

I have been diagnosed with fibrocystic breasts (hell I don’t know how to spell it) In lay terms they are lumpy fluid like pockets that are very rarely cancerous.

My gynecologist decided I needed to see a breast specialist for this condition. He refers me to Dr. Budden (yes that is really his name!) And Dr. Budden informs me that I need to have my cysts aspirated.

I said "what?"

He explains to me, " drained/suctioned by a needle"

I asked "when?" because in my little mind I thought we’d make an appointment and I’d be sufficiently medicated (totally put under) (out)( kaput) Oh but no!

He says "right now."

I said "come again...I know I heard you wrong."

No amount of cajoling on my part could turn him away from this courseof action. He proceeds to pull out his long needle and I damn near aspirated all over myself while he's puncturing my breasts and suctioning all the fluid.

When he was finished...I was weak and boob-less. What I once thought were my breasts instead turn out to be a mass of fluids masquerading as teats. Adding insult to injury he places a bandaid on my wounds. He could have boosted my ego by at least placing a 2 x 2 guaze instead. Come on doc..a little sensitivity here. I blame him entirely for my self esteem problem.

Oh and wait! He tells me not to eat chocolate, nor drink caffiene and limit my salt intake. I'm sure he's got a vendetta out for me.

* *No man in his right mind will look at this boobless woman and now he's trying to take away my only other pleasures in life?

I don't think so Dr. Budden!

My thoughts were: You drained my boobs so why should I have to stop all the things that are supposedly harming them? Can't harm something that doesn't exist, right?

 

Disclaimer: (isn't that what you call this?)

** I want to state that in being silly I do not wish to insult anyone with the idea that men/women are so superficial as not to love/want a woman for more than her body and/or body parts. I am well aware that there are many women out there with men/women who love them regardless of the state of their bodies. I for one may face that very destiny as many others before me have. I admire any woman (or man) who has had to endure breast cancer and salute their courageousness.

 

A little history of October 28th:

 

The Statue of Liberty will celebrate her 119th Anniversary today as well. She's older than me and looks better. What's up with that?

Statue History:

Lady Liberty was the brainchild of Parisian intellectuals who envisioned the statue as a monument to freedom and international friendship. Sculptor Frederic Auguste Bartholdi, with the help of Alexandre Gustave Eiffel, was commissioned to design the sculpture in time for America's 1876 centennial. Monetary concerns prevented her from arriving until 1886.

 

October 28, 1958 Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli, elected Pope, taking name John XXIII

October 28, 1956 Pope Pius XII publishes encyclical Luctuosissimi eventus

October 28, 1965 Pope Paul VI proclaims Jews not collectively guilty for crucifixion

October 28, 1061 Emperor disposes of bishop Cadalus and Pope Honorius II

(what's the deal with my birthdate and popes?)

 

For those of you who have endured this entire entry to the bitter end....I am posting a pic of myself in my birthday suit:

 

DAMN I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO USE THAT CAMERA!

 

 

 

Songs on the radio

This evening I am driving home from work and listening to a country station (I can hear you guys laughing and you best stop NOW) and I hear these lyrics howling from my woofers:

come a little closer baby

I feel like strippin’ it down
back to the basics of you and me

and what makes the world go round
every inch of you across my skin
I wanna be stronger than we've ever been
so come a little closer baby
I feel like strippin’ it down

I hurry up and change the station because I could hurt someone after hearing that song and on the next station I hear:

I want to kiss you all over

Over and over

So what do I have left to do but turn off the damned radio? Hurry home and punish Jim!

My Buddy Bill 2

LOL Scratch the last entry.  Just heard from Bill.  He already hates the job he took in Denver because they put him in a basement office and the reason he moved to Colorado was for the mountains. If he can't see them all day..what's the point? 

Thankfully he has other options and is reconsidering the job in Telluride CO to do the 50 million ski resort project.  I prefer visiting a ski resort anyway and that massage you get once a week from them...you can donate it to me when I go.  LOL

He called me prior to get my advice on which one to take...I guess I chose the wrong one... Okay...so I don't always make the best choices for you...get over it...LOL

Look on the bright side...at least you won't have anything to regret...you already know you don't like the Denver job.  So there!  I knew what I was doing!

My Buddy Bill

This entry has a dual purpose....

My Buddy Bill says he reads my journal...I'm testing him.  :)

This journal entry is to congratulate him on his new architectual job in Denver and his 40 million dollar project. I had all the faith in the world that you'd get the job!  Should I congratulate you on the "other"  new thing in your life? LOL

Now send me that damned airline ticket...I miss you!

Matthew

My favorite man!  My daughter just emailed these pics to me...she sure knows how to make my day

An Amazing Buffet

There is a certain person in JLand who has an aversion or a strong disgust as you will for a certain word in the English language. This amazes me. 

 

On my way into work this morning I was thinking about this and I’ve often felt a duty to shed a different perspective on things and if you will indulge me I think I’ll do that right now.

 

I think in human nature we tend to look at things as a whole rather than in bits and pieces.  For example, I can tolerate my family in small portions but as a whole they tend to be a bit much for my taste.

 

I took the word amaze and rolled it around my tongue let it rest on the palate awhile.  Tasted its many flavors and decided to serve it on a platter garnished with my own Cajun spices.  I don’t want to serve it as the entire meal but as a part of the banquet.  Maybe by offering it in a more appetizing manner it will become more palatable.

 

As a good hostess I would like to serve you a maze of choices on my banquet an intricate smorgasbord of dishes for the diner to choose from.  A dining table that has variety and everyone seated is sure to find something appealing to their palate.

 

Having used this analogy it comes to mind that this person who so hates the word amazing is a maze of a person.  He offers up to his readers a banquet of appetizers both intricate and perplexing.

 

Sometimes he bewilders us with his sensitive and heartfelt writings.  All in Jland who know/read him (I don’t pretend to know him I just know what I read and it’s a good read!) become stupefied with his knowledge on even the minute things in life.  

 

Personally I think he has accomplished what he set out to do in becoming funny, readable and amusing.  Not only does he reside at the head of his own table but he visits other tables and offers a melange of delectable tidbits.

 

So here’s to you Stupefied Stupid …Not only are you an amazing person but you are a maze of a person.  And I just can’t resist…sometimes a little maizey.

 

Bon Appetit!

Aromatherapy

Don't you just love the aroma of burnt dust that permeates the air the first time you turn the central heat on?

Sinus Medicine and Butts

Feeling:  Silly as usual

 

Do you guys think it is horrid that we now have to show our drivers license in order to obtain sinus medication at the druggist? We are only allowed a certain quota of sinus medication a month? Living in South Louisiana that is almost a death sentence. Your name goes into a data bank that tallies your purchases for the month. It boggles the mind and the sinus cavities!

Today I was stunned when I got tagged to show my ID to buy Hot Shot Roach Foggers. NO I do not have roaches...I believe in preventative measures to insure that I don’t have them. Once again I am lying I did swat one last night and I swear to you that it is because of all the baggage I’ve had here in the last few weeks. They were NOT my roaches they did not belong to me...I know my roaches when I see them!

Remember when the only reason we had to show identity was for drinking and to my utter dismay it has been awhile since I have had to do that. I do get very upset when I’m not asked because I think in my mind I am still less than 21 so why in the hell can’t they seem to see that too?

Which reminds me of a story about my Godchild. She is Ms. Pris to the max. I call her Madame Butterfly. She’s gorgeous and has an attitude to beat all attitudes. One night her and I went out clubbing. My we've gotten sophisticated. Back in my day we went bar hopping. Bar hopping sounds a little less classy but a whole lot more fun. About 5 years ago her and I went into this local establishment and to her horror they asked for my ID. She made a huge scene demanding that the young man look closely into my face. He did and promptly looked at me and says "Next time you fake your ID...make it more believable." The coup de grace was he didn’t even ask for hers!

Which reminds me of one more I D story. I went out with this guy and was asked for my ID. I had left it in the car because at my age you don’t expect to be asked and I explained to the lady at the door that I had left it along with my purse in the car. She looks at the man I am with and asked "is this your daughter?" When he said "yes" she allowed me to go in without an ID. The man I was with was only a few years older than I which made it more hilarious.

I haven’t been asked for it in quite some time. I’m finally settling into my age and I love to say "I can’t wait to get old so I can quit worrying about it." I’m there! I’m beginning to look like a dried out raisin instead of a plump pleasing grape.

And finally today I went to mass. I have a confession to make. I have a weakness for nice buttocks on a man. Okay a nice ass if you please.  I think God created them for my pleasure to look at and enjoy but I don’t think he wants me to obsess over them while I’m in mass. Today I had before me a very nice pair and I couldn’t keep my mind on the reason I was really in attendance. I closed my eyes in hopes that it would deter me but unfortunately the only thing closing my eyes did was allow me to envision what it would feel like to squeeze (actually man-handle) them. Needless to say my eyes popped wide open again and thankfully it was time to sit down for the sermon...and I was able to rest my eyes on his bald head instead. The head on his shoulders that is! Oh no and I have a weakness for bald men too so there I was again having fantasies and to think the sermon was about loving thy neighbor and I was being quite neighborly and feelin' the love....

Judith's Artsy Essay My Entry

The subject for the essay will be:

 

The one thing I would most like you to know about me........

 

Tell us something: a secret, a wish, a thought  or hope, your greatest desire or temptation, or something unique about you in poetry or prose. Tell us what you feel strongly about, something funny or serious..... what you most want us to know about you. Don't just tell us this special something and leave it at that.... we want to know so much more! Help us to feel and know what it is you think and why. There is LOTS of room for creativity here and descriptive language, and engaging writing will earn you points. This writing exercise is about self-expression and communicating clearly so that we can share your feelings for a bit.

And remember as always: Descriptive,Descriptive,Descriptive:):):)

This contest is open to everybody, and I hope that we can all have some fun with this. This community is wonderful and there is so much varied talent here. Last month's entries were incredible, and many journalers followed the links around to read and enjoy unfamiliar new journals. This is a great opportunity to meet new people andto experience some incredible writing.

 

Feel free to e-mail me with any questions that you may have. There is lots of wiggle-room in this month's assignment, so hopefully everybody can find a direction to take this essay. 

Most of all, have some fun!

http://journals.aol.com/judithheartsong/newbeginning/entries/1595

AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT I WILL ENTER THIS CONTEST AND REVEAL SOMETHING ABOUT MYSELF.  UNFORTUNATELY IT WON'T BE FUN BUT HERE IT IS.  I MUST ADMIT I HAVE RESERVATIONS ABOUT REVEALING THIS BUT WHAT THE HELL...HERE GOES:

 

As a first time entry in the Judith’s essay, I will sit down and write the one secret about myself that few people know about me. It is perhaps a dark secret that no one cares to have to share and many before me have shared the same deep dark recesses of themselves.

Some share in public forums and some in not so public. I do not share it to have pity thrown my way nor to excuse myself of any behavioral patterns I may have because of it. I share it because it is part of me. An integral part of my soul that weeps loudly and sometimes quietly to be understood. A darkness within me that saddens me to the core of my being.

I scream within myself to be able to love like so many humans are capable of loving. I have yet to find the means to allow myself the luxury of trusting someone enough to love and beloved.

I have this vision of one day finding the person that my head belongs on their shoulder and my hand belongs rested on their chest. A contented feeling of knowing I belong there and want to remain there for eternity. A true friend. Someone that is not disgusted by the inner workings of my soul.

I have not found it or shall I say I have not allowed myself to find it. I have this protective shield over my heart that is so thick it will not allow anyone to enter and when that shield starts cracking I run like the devil is after me and believe me he is forever stalking me.

I use humor and sarcasm to hide this defect in my character. I walk around pretending to be this loving person and I’ve become a pretty good actress but the proof is in the pudding...when it boils right down to the real thing and having longevity in any relationship and proving any true love I fall very short of the mark.

Yes, there are times I feel so very sorry for myself but there are also times that I am thankful for the intense sensitivity of my soul. The awareness of the darkness that lies within. The knowledge that I don’t walk around unaware like so many do. I am a very "aware" person. I think way too much and I can’t let things lie still within myself. I’m a walking mass of emotions waiting for the train that is my soul to derail. Hanging on by a shred but never giving up on myself or the belief that one day I’ll be whole.

I strive to be a beautiful person on the outside and believe me it is difficult and that is why I am a loner. Although inside I feel very ugly at times, I remind myself that people don’t usually see your innards...thank God!

If you haven’t already figured it out this my fellow J-Landers is the repercussions of child sexual abuse. A lot of you may already know the ear markings of it and most have probably experienced it.

The saddest part of being a survivor of sexual abuse is the way the child within protects the heart so ferociously from trust and love.

A child of sexual abuse lives above themselves never quite allowing anything to touch them deeply.

A child of abuse has the capability of removing themselves and there emotions from a situation. Never realizing that they are not living but just existing.

A child of sexual abuse walks around trying diligently to never disappoint therefore never being themselves. Always being what someone "expects" them to be.

Some may say but you aren't a "child" any longer but an adult.  Yes this is true but that child still lives within me orchestrating the music I dance to.

There is healing and one day I trust and I have faith I will be healed. I am on a journey and I’m thankful for every path I’ve crossed. Every junction I have reached in this journey brings me closer to that healing I so crave.

And may God Bless anyone out there who has and will ever go through this darkness.

 

 

The Saints III

Am I crazy or what?  I thought this was next weekend and we had to change the clocks tonight  Thank God I wrote that entry and was corrected because tomorrow would have been hilarious for me.

The Saints Part II

I've been praying to St. Joseph for 6 months and now he's found that hour I lost back in April and he's giving it back to me tonight. :)

The Saints

Being Catholic I believe in praying to the Saints.  They have Saints for any cause you may need.

 Well having said that I pray mostly to St Joseph because he is the Patron Saint of Lost Things.  I lose a lot of things and trust me a prayer to him always works. 

Today I was searching for an invoice I knew I had just copied and placed it back where it belonged.  I went back three (3) times where it belonged and searched. It wasn't there.  I was completely and totally baffled.

I walked away from the filing cabinet and said my little prayer to Saint Joseph.  Went into the kitchen and fixed myself a cold drink...walked back to the filing cabinet...looked again and there it was. 

Every time this happens I believe but it makes me more of a believer each time.  Try it.  It doesn't have to be a formal prayer.  I usually just say...okay Saint Joseph...where is it?

On another note...don't ask him for that lost love.  Doesn't work!  Haven't found the Patron Saint of Lost Marriages either.

Bonding

Tonight Jim and I bonded.

I can tell from just one night with him that he offers very little resistance and left me feeling unchallenged.  I will use him for a while and then find a new Gym....one with more variety.  I am so fickle.

Okay...enough about Jim...

Today everyone in my office put money in for the Powerball jackpot of $340 million.  If  we win my boss will not have any employees left when he returns from vacationing in Italy.  Wouldn't that be a riot?

Have I let you guys know how much I love my new job?  In 25 years it is the first time I've felt challenged by a job and have had enough to keep me occupied all day.  I don't sit around thinking of stupid things all day. (okay maybe I still have a little time for that)  I even have a name plate on my office door.  Now that's a first!  Simple things in life amuse me and that was one of them.  I arrived at work one day and there she was on my door as pretty as you please.  Must mean they plan to keep me?  Or maybe they were having a sale on Sharlene's at Office Depot.

FYI...THAT IS NOT A PHONE IN MY MOUTH...I WILL GO TO MANY LENGTHS TO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH BUT TAKING PICS WITH A PHONE IN MY MOUTH IS NOT SOMETHING I'VE MASTERED YET...IT HAPPENS TO BE ME LOOKING IN THE PHONE AT A CLOSE RANGE IN ORDER TO CAPTURE MY IMAGE IN THE MIRROR.  LOL

Damnit!

Now that I have committed to and told all of JLand that I am going to start a regimen of exercises my Catholic Guilt will not allow me to do otherwise. 

Thank you guys for allowing me to put into gear that thing that I sit on all day long. 

Okay I'm off to the contraption I have in the corner awaiting me.  If you don't hear from me again...the damned thing killed me.

God I don't wanna do this!

Me and Jim

I know you guys are dying to hear how Jim and I are getting along.  I don't think our chemistry is quite what it should be yet.   Relationships take a while to develop. He's the typical man...wants me to just jump right on him but I'm scared if I do that I'll get sore. I explained to him that it's been a while for me and he'll have to be patient with me.  I've been sitting here gazing at him and I know he longs for me but I just can't seem to move as quickly as he'd like.  I pulled a few of his levers to familiarize myself with him and to check out how he would respond and I must admit he's raring to go. I think tomorrow I may be ready to place myself on him and check out a few of his attachments to see what they are for.

The other day I introduced the bottom half of Jim and now here is the top half of Mr. Nasium

ooh he makes me weak thinking about him!

Is It True?

Today I drive up to my house:

and there is my swing..... empty

I walk into my house:

No litter boxes

I walk into my livingroom

Oh my God....now I'm daring to go into the sunken den                           

nothing in the linen closet

nor

under the bed

nothing in the shower

YES! I CAN FINALLY SIT ON THE TOILET AND PEE WITHOUT THE DOOR CLOSED!  THEY ARE GONE AND I'M ALONE.  YES!

My new boyfriend

This is a picture of my new man.  His name is Jim.

I will be making a lifetime commitment to him for better or for worse til death do us part.  He may be the death of me but I will have him and hold him and cherish all he can do with and for my body. 

He will make me feel so good inside and out.  He will give me things no other man has before him.  He promises to shape and mold me into the woman I have always dreamed of being.

I know he cannot do it alone and that I will have to help him but I am willing and able to make that commitment.  With him I will go to the peak of my potential and learn endurance and longevity. 

He is "the one" I've been searching a lifetime for.

A fare the well

Last night in celebration of my father finally be able to return home I took him to his favorite place of entertainment.  A Casino.  He allows himself one night a month to play the slots and he did not fulfill his October quota yet. 

I being the big spender that I am...played the 5 cent slots.  Played all night and only lost $20.00 bucks and I actually ate  with that $20.00 too.  So I'm a pretty cheap date if I may say so myself!

A Childhood Memory

Here’s a childhood story I would like to share.

When I was a youngster my grandparents and extended family, cousins and the like would go to Cameron Parish Louisiana to Holly Beach.

This was a humble little place nothing very fancy. The camps were very rugged and roughing it was what you did. We all piled into the camp like sardines and slept wherever there was available space. We didn’t care because sleeping is all we did inside.  Here's one such camp with my grandparents smooching:

 

We arose early and retired way past nightfall. Back in the 70's there was no air conditioners but as youngsters we didn’t notice this inconvenience. The Gulf Breeze was enough to keep us happy and the Gulf Waters as muddy as they were cooled us off. We were young and carefree.

Our parents didn’t worry. . It was a time when you could allow your children to run freely up and down the beach without fear of harm coming to them. It was a time when if you didn’t see them til night you didn’t worry because nothing bad happened in those days.

It is and has always been my favorite summer memory. A memory so dear and near to me that the mere thought of not being able to go back is devastating.

Holly Beach Louisiana was where I learned what being female meant. It’s where I discovered boys. They were "cute" and they were "tough" as we said back then. "Buff" back then unlike today meant polishing the floors and that was work. We didn’t want any part of that.

Holly Beach is where I met my first true love. It was the summer of 71. He was sixteen and I was twelve. Not your typical twelve year old ( almost thirteen). I had a maturity beyond my years. Here I am on Holly Beach at 13...me on the left...excuse me but no thirteen year old should look that mature.

 

 

We spent every day together roaming the beaches. I thought it was a chance meeting...

......but fast forward 30 years and I find out differently. He saw me walking on the beach and fell in lust immediately. Told his friend (the one in the pic) that he had to meet me and was going to find a way. He was a smart one...he went through my brother and mother. Introducing himself to them and "accidently" meeting me as someone my brother had met earlier. He recalls me not being too impressed with it all but as I got to know him through the days and I fell into my first love. We exchanged addresses and wrote hundreds of letters to each other. He still has mine and I still have his...somewhere in the attic.

My mother allowed him to visit. He was from Louisiana and I lived in Texas at the time. Four hours away from him. We got to know each other and it was a time that I remember as being the purest and most innocent in my life. We laughed and loved with an innocence only children know. He respected me and as I learned later saw me as the girl he wanted to marry when I grew up.

When I was fourteen he went off to college. He did not let me know what he was doing. I just thought he grew out of me. I remember being so devastated. (My diary is a testament of that fact). Every page talks about my loss.

While he is still in college my mother calls him to let him know I’m engaged to be married. He relates to me that when my mother told him about my being engaged that he looked at my picture that he kept on his dresser and just cried. His little girl was getting married. He said that was a turning point in his life. I never knew any of this...I never knew that he asked my mother to have me call him (she never told me...I never even knew she called to tell him I was getting married) so he could talk to me and make sure that was what I wanted to do. He loved me. He never knew that two months prior to marriage I told my mother I didn’t want to get married but she told me it was pre marital jitters and at sixteen years old you listen to your mom, right? Yes folks I was married the first time at 16.

Yes I find all this out 30 years later. We talked for hours like no time had passed. We were sad and happy at times but because he is married and we were becoming too close we decided it best we end our friendship. We did not want to tarnish or make ugly our memories. What we shared way back then was beautiful and doing anything to make it ugly would be sacrelegious.

Now two months later enter Rita....

Holly Beach Before Rita and below is after Rita

I can't look at this picture without crying.

This may seem trivial to some but the loss of this place along with the loss of New Orleans has put a heaviness in my heart.  They both hold so many dear memories for me and neither will ever be the same.

4th weekend

Weekend #4.  This is almost beginning to feel normal and that's scarey.

I had this long entry prepared.   Spent 30 minutes writing it and vamoosh...it's gone.  Ask me if I'm pissed?  It was complete with pics and all.  Oh well I believe in some things were just not meant to be and that entry was one of them

Justa Street

I got a big chuckle out of this address I typed for a company I am doing a payable to:

505 Justa Street

And naturally it's in Louisiana

Got to love it!

My Buddy Billium

Thank God for Cingular to Cingular. I get to talk to my Buddy Bill anytime I feel the need which is most afternoons while I am driving home.

 Since he has moved to Colorado he has definitely been missed.   He is such an exceptional human...exeptionally unorthodox.  

He told me the nicest thing tonight.  That I was deep within his soul.  Well he has definitely been planted in my soul as the deepest friendship I've ever known.  Thick and thin.  And don't believe it when people tell you that women and men can't be friends because that's B. S. 

I know he's secretly madly in love with me but I pretend to overlook that as a deficiency in his character.

I felt a need to post this entry about him since he means so much to me and he has just started reading my journal. LOL  He has been there  through many tough times and he insists that I've been there for him too but I think he's done more for me than I for him.

Here he is looking so much the part of the mountain man.  I love you Bill!  By the way...any single women out there...he's looking!

 

Priorities in Life

 

 

White Trash Survival  Kit:
    Mustard..................................................check
    Cheetos..................................................check
    Toilet Paper........................................check
    Bud Light...........................................check
    Keystone Ice........................................check
    Budweiser...........................................check
    Red Dog.............................................check
    Misc. other bottles of alcohol......................check
    Piece of plywood or door to float your chick and booze
    on...check
   
    Next time let's all be a little more prepared.

Drinking

On my way home from work today I ran into a  Mudslide and a Hurricane,  had Sex on the Beach and a Sloe Screw.  With my Shot o Happiness I become so Slushy I landed On My Ass with a Sunset Smile!

Can you imagine going into a bar and asking for some of those drinks?

Every imaginable drink is listed here: The Webtender: Browse drinks

A sad story

My grandson spent the weekend with me and when he does I share him with his Papa and Nanna who is my daughter's father (Brent) and stepmother (Carolyn). 

Matthew loves to go to Papa and Nanna's.  Yesterday before his nap I told him that when he woke up he was going to see them.  He was all excited about going but in his little mind he was going to there house and I didn't realize what he was thinking. 

They lost everything in Hurricane Rita.  They had water to their roof and all they had to their name was what they evacuated with. 

They are staying at her mothers house about two blocks from where I live. 

When Carolyn dropped him back off to me last night she says "Sharlene it didn't go well"  She said "Matthew wanted to go to our house"  They explained to him how water got all in the house and they couldn't go back.  He said "Papa, it's all dry now...let's go."

She started crying when she told me the story and so did I.  I hugged her. It tears me up because the house they lost is part of my history too and it's my daughter's childhood home.  Not only did Brent lose his house but because of the salt water of the Gulf they are unable to farm for 2 years. He has no idea what he is going to do.  The only thing he knows is farming.  When I saw him last night I just wanted to cry my eyes out.  He said "it's still unreal to me" and when you see someone you care for hurting like that and there's nothing you can do...

So many stories like that around here.  The Catholic Church in Abbeville has set aside a time for them to celebrate Mass since that area also lost their church.  I went to the mass today because that used to be my church parish when I was married to Brent.   I saw a lot of people I used to know that lost everything.  The priest gave a very touching ceremony about the strength of the people. It takes a lot of strength to endure losing everything you own.

One Less

Today I am losing an evacuee.  The cook of the bunch is going home to duke it out without electricity. He was so economical...he used the downed limbs as BBQ coals. I think he needs to try out for Survivor.

 

and he took the drive thru meals with him.  The boxes of MRE's that we tried but the salt content was so high that if blood pressure wasn't a problem already it would soon be one!  I have one thing to say...the cookies were edible.

Enough is enough

As my dad is famous for saying:  If I weren't already home...I'd go home! 

Just in case you guys don't believe me here is the scene I wake up to in the mornings:

One of the 4 cats.  Found one on the table this morning...almost went balistic but why?

My brother on one of my sleeper sofa's.  This is in my livingroom.  See the sun is shining brightly enough for him to be awake.  Oops too much beer last night! 

Here he is later on during the day mowing my lawn.  We finally finished cleaning my yard.  I had a classic accident today.  I was hoeing around and stepped on the hoe and it came right at my face.

My nephew and Vickie in the den on my other sleeper sofa BUT they decided it's better to sleep on the floor with the mattress.  More power to them!

Where dear ole dad sleeps...but he's already awake so I didn't catch him sleeping.  He's so nice he even makes his bed! What a man! If I could find one like him I'd get married again.

This is my neice...on the loveseat in my computer room.  She's probably the most uncomfy one but she chooses the computer room because she gets to stay up all night on the computer.

My bed...didn't think you'd catch me in it...did you??

My little angel Matthew (yes I have one extra this weekend but he's very welcomed)  He's watching his Barney DVD on the computer since the den and livingroom have people sleeping.

Yeah that's me...taking a pic of myself for you guys to see how well I'm not taking this..

The back steps where everyone goes to enjoy a little peace and quiet to smoke.  Check out all the ice chests!  Yep they came in handy during Rita.

 

So there you have it...my little piece of heaven.

YOU KNOW YOU LIVE ON THE GULF COAST WHEN:

YOU KNOW YOU LIVE ON THE GULF COAST WHEN:

You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.

You have more than 30 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer.

Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti Os.
 
You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.
 
When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three
bedrooms, two baths and one safe hallway.

Your SSN is written in Sharpie on both your arms.

You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.

You are delighted to pay $3.50 for a gallon of regular unleaded.
 
The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
 
You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the top of the house.
 
You own more than three large Igloo coolers.
 
You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.

You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking "It'll only take a gallon of gas to get there and back"

You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your freezer.

Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator in complete darkness.
 
You catch a 13-pound catfish.  In your driveway.
 
You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.

You consider taking a "vacation" to stunning Tupelo, Mississippi.
 
At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.

You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.
 
There is a roll of tar paper and two rolls of plastic in your garage.
 
You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather channel.
 
Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.
 
Ice is a common topic of conversation.
 
Your "drive-thru" meal consists of MRE's and bottled water.
 
Relocating to Alaska does not seem like such a crazy idea.
 
You spend more time on your roof than in your living room.

You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder or a  tree trimmer worker.

A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.
 
You don'tworry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.
 
Your child's first words are "hunker down" and you didn't go to Ole Miss!
 
Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas.
 
Toilet Paper is elevated to an absolute necessity at the shelters.

You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad side."
 
Your kids start school in August and finish in July.

You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.

My duty

I feel it is my duty to remind you of days past....they are as blurry as this pic...

The Wedding

Traffic Romance is so fleeting.  It's kind of like blinking and missing the one horse town.  I blinked and the romance was over.  I caught him messing around with the girl in the little red corvette..I feel so used!  I left him with a little memorial...burnt rubber.

Attention

This morning I was sitting at a red light and man I thought I was looking really good because all the men were passing and waving and honking there horns.  My ego was pumped until I looked in my rearview mirror and saw the blonde bombshell behind me.

Which reminds me of a story back when my daughter was 5 and I was a lot younger.  We lived in an apartment on the main drag in Abbeville...huge town...lots of traffic...LOL and every evening when we'd get out of the car the horns would start blowing and one day she turned to me and said "Mom I just don't understand why they keep honking at me".  I said "Darlin' one day you will understand" That was priceless! 

Getting Married

Today I sat in traffic so long that I got to know the guy in the truck next to me so well that he proposed to me.  Stayed tuned...

Man Bites Hurricane

Proud to be Cajun and from Vermilion Parish!

 

http://jewishworldreview.com/0905/graham092805.php3

Popcorn and a Movie

I have decided to move out of my house. 

Do they have private evacuation centers?  You know what?  Even if I were serious about moving out which I did consider at the beginning of this processs I would not be able to find lodging.  Nothing is available to buy or rent. 

Does anyone feel sorry for me yet?  No need!  I'm doing enough of that on my own. 

Okay now that I've gotten that off my chest I will go back into my living room with a big old smile and offer to buy a movie to occupy us for the evening.

Popcorn, anyone?

Privacy

I amaze myself. I have everyone trained to my liking. I feel like a queen among peasants. LOL

No, actually things are going much better than I anticipated. We are all adjusting well to being couped together like chickens. A few of us feel like our heads are cut off and we are running around aimlessly. (Hint....my brother)

Everyone is doing there part to make this transition as painless as possible. Everyone is trying not to inconvenience me. We are all inconvenienced and I realize that none of us want to be in this situation. We all want to be home in "our" place. Although, yes, I am at my home it is no longer "mine". It is "ours" for the duration of the evacuation.

I am very proud of myself so far. I am a loner and a neat freak so this is probably a bigger adjustment for me than anyone. They mostly are already accustomed to co-habiting since they live next door to each other. I keep telling myself that I am building character. I have a few character lines building on my face since this started.

I have decided that I will try to remain positive rather than negative. Tempers are flaring amongst the family members and I actually was a peacemaker rather than the instigator. Mercy! Imagine that! I will try to do what I do best...find humor in all things.

We are all eligible for food stamps but none of us want to go stand in line in 90 degree weather for 7 hours. We did apply for the FEMA disaster assistance and we all qualified which is a big help. No one but my father and I have income coming in right now so it’s getting ready to get tough.

I am thankful that I have a job and a home!!!

Bots

Now we have bots on our journals?  If I want sexy locals I'll go look for them myself...LOL  Can you say BLOCK?