To thine own self be true

I’ve always thought the way that I feel was about religion and being a Catholic. Today I was making my bed (no I wasn’t lying in it too) when I realized it is only partially due to religion. It’s my conscious (God) that tells me when something is not right for me. My conscious is my religion and my faith.

It may feel good for a while but if something keeps nagging me then at some point I have to stop and examine that nag. If it’s a bogus nag I will send it upon its way but if it’s legit, then it’s time to find out where it’s coming from.

Today I did that. I asked myself why I won’t allow myself to do certain things that most people do so freely and without guilt. The answer was a revelation to me. The simple and pure reason is because God calls me away from anything that harms my soul. He won't allow me to stray too far from him and instead of being thankful for this gift of grace, I grind my teeth in frustration. Oh ye of little faith!

I’ve always thought something was wrong and abnormal with me but God calls me to avoid near occasion of sin and when I'm in a sinful state the old coot nags me! I find myself back in the throes of sin time and time again only to find out that he will be pulling my ass back.

I’m left standing with WTF was that? A lesson, Sharlene, to open your mouth and stand up for ME (God). Time to walk the walk!

Damn it, I failed him again but as a Christian, there’s always....

Bless me Father...