Buttocks and such

I went to confession today, so I am back in the good graces of thy Lord. It’s great being Catholic! The priest told me to steer clear of the sins of the flesh and to continue praying for divine impotence in my life. Avoiding temptation is the key, so in reverence of that, I parked my buttocks at the front of the church tonight. It kept my mind on the altar and the priest instead of on the butts of the many young men stationed in front of me. All the old peoples sit in the front so I was clear of temptation. Not to say old people don’t have nice asses...I am not here to imply that. I’ve seen some nice old asses but today none were sitting in front of me to tempt my eyes off the gospel according to Matthew. The only close call I had was when the young ones marched themselves up to communion but I held fast to my rosary beads and prayed for the grace to avoid near occasion of sin. I’m not saying it worked butt.....