Dating

As my intro says I am 3 times divorced woman and my most recent one was a few months ago.  Having been married 3 times it’s difficult to get the “ummph” to want to try it all again. I have not been out once and have no desire to go out.  I don’t want the hassles of dating and going through the spill of my values and morals only to have them laughed at in this day and age.  Guys want to date me and they say they respect my values but that’s only to get the foot in the door.  Once the foot is in the door then begins the process of trying to change my mind about what I believe in.  Do I sound jaded?  Well I’m not…I trust guys believe what they are saying and truly try to be what they say but when push comes to shove I find there libido always gets in the way.  It is nature at it’s finest! LOL

Anyway having said all of the above, I am going to a concert with my daughter and she has a boss that she wants to set me up with.  How can I trust a daughter who doesn’t even know the mechanics of a “see and say”?  She says he is 40 something with no kids and she doesn’t think he’s ever been married.  She thinks he’s very attractive.  Now in my mind I’m wondering as suspicious as I am of his never having been married he will most surely question my numerous nuptials.  Do I even want to begin to explain this to anyone?  I could always say my second husband died but conveniently leave out the fact that it was after we divorced.  I mean who would ever know??  I would.  Even though I’m not proud of it neither am I ashamed.  I learned a lot in these marriages that would not have been learned any other way.  Each man/marriage has taught me valuable lessons about life and myself.  Hmmm…maybe not dating means I don’t want to learn too much more about myself?  LOL

Now my question to you is:  Why should I care?  Go out with the guy…have a good time and don’t worry about what he thinks about me.  I can only be me and I’m not looking for anyone so it’s just a night out, right?  Wrong…we all have preconceived ideas of what an outing with the opposite sex just might lead to. Oh he could be “the one” and “my destiny”.  Oh puke Sam!  Where do these romantic notions come from?  You would think after 3 times I’d leave these notions behind?