My grandmother

I really am so in love with myself, and 've spent too much time in front of my mirror telling myself how wonderful I am that I decided today to get out and spread the love.

I took myself off to the nursing home to see one of the special people in my life. My 93 year old grandmother. She is one wild character and I proudly accept the fact that I most favor her in temperament and personality. Everything you see and read in this journal is indirectly her fault.

God we laughed and cried so much today. We talked about Holly Beach, Louisiana, she is the grandmother that we would vacation there every summer with, and we cried about the loss of it from Hurricane Rita.

She always would talk about going back and I said I would take her whenever she was ready. She would joke with me about finding a boyfriend there and her stealing him from me.

She is such a wise woman and she said through the tears that at least we have our memories. We held hands and prayed together. She is the person I get my strongest moral beliefs from. I feel such strong ties toward her because we are so much alike. I was not always a favorite grandchild of hers but I think she saw a lot of herself in me, which caused her much dismay. As I've matured, she has seen a different side of me. And I am so proud to call her grandmother.

We both love music and love to dance. They had a band at the nursing home yesterday. I wish I would have known. I would have danced with her. The last time we did that we had such a great time.

She said to me that she hopes when she gets older (like 93 't old and she also has a sister who will be 100 in April) that she doesn't want to be silly. I told her 's already silly. She's always been silly. Her sense of humor is so loved by everyone. She is so lively, and a trip to see her was just what the doctor ordered for me. She has a way of helping me count my blessings in life.

Naturally, I have to tell you about a conversation we had about a year ago. She felt that I was old enough at 46 for her to tell me certain things. She told me one time my grandfather went to his aunt's house and discovered them "doing it" standing up in the kitchen. She is giggling while she is telling me and thinks she is going to shock my senses with this information. She then informs me that she has never "did it" standing up.

She proceeds to ask me, "Sharlene, have you ever "did it" standing up?"

I said choking back the laughter, "Grandma, at 92, I think you are old enough for me to tell you, that, yes I have."

In French she says "Oh Mon Dieu!" (Which means Oh My God)

And me, being the imp that I am, looks down at her in her wheelchair and asks, "Have you ever "done it" in a wheelchair?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Arguing Within Part II

Inner Self,   "Did you get  the shaving cream?"

Sam,  "You bet your ass I did!"

Inner Self,  "What the hell are we waiting for, let's go shave!"

 

Arguing Within

I love alone...I mean live alone and if I want anyone to talk to I have to do all the talking to myself. Sometimes it gets to be very boring but there are times I have lively conversations with myself. It’s a continuous dialogue between Sam and my inner self. One such exchange just took place while I was showering and I realized I forgot to buy shaving cream today while on my weekly dreaded trip to Wally World. The conversation went like this:

Sam to her inner self, "Piss, Shit and Corruption I forgot to buy shaving cream!"

Inner self, "Oh crap! That means razor burns"

Sam, "Quit complaining. You know you should have made a list!"

Inner self, "Oh shut up Sam! I could give a rat’s ass what you think!"

Sam, "I’ll just make a quick run into Walmart tomorrow and get it so don’t worry."

Inner self, "You're a lying sack of shit, you know you avoid Walmart like the plague and you’ll do without until your next weekly trip."

Sam ,"Quit arguing with me...I know exactly what I’m going to do and I don’t need you telling me otherwise."

 

It’s tough being me. My Inner self has a potty mouth that I have to put up with but I have a bit more class.

 

The Body

This morning as I was taking my previous entry's advice,  I was contemplating the Good Book and how the Good Lord says your body is the Temple of God. 

As I was reflecting upon this passage,  I suddenly realized that this temple could use a few devout worshippers.

Love

STOP!  Whatever you are doing right now.  Go find the nearest mirror and look yourself in the eyes and say "_______, I love you!"

We try  not to forget to tell the people who are near and dear to us that we love them BUT we forget to tell the nearest person to ourself the same endearments.  Every morning look at yourself and be sure to express your love for yourself!  You will be surprised at how good it makes you feel about yourself.

                                                                                

Another Tribute

Today is the 50th birthday of my grandson’s grandfather and my daughter’s father. I think that would make him my first husband. I honestly think I picked the best man for my daughter and grandson. They should thank me profusely every day!

A little tribute to him today to mark half of century on earth:

I have been very fortunate in knowing some very good people in my life and he is one of them. He is one of the funniest guys I know. He could always make me laugh even when I was in the most rotten of moods. All he had to do is speak in this high pitched voice and pull his pants up into a wedgie and walk all hump back. Sort of like Pee Wee Herman but this was way before Pee Wee came along. I could never keep a straight face when he did that and he used it against me every time I was angry or in a bad mood.

I met him in Forked Island Louisiana which no longer exists as it did back then. Hurricane Rita destroyed that place too. Rita destroyed a lot of the childhood places I would visit but it didn’t destroy my memories.

He was the drummer in a band that my cousin and I would go listen to. The first time I went to listen to him play he was singing a ZZ Top song (LaGrange) and when I walked in his drumsticks literally flew everywhere. I didn’t think anything of it, I just thought he was a bad drummer, but later he told me that I stunned him the first time he saw me. I was a pretty little thing back then and he was very handsome and we were instantly infatuated. It was the summer of 1974.

He proposed to me in August of 74 as a joke and I took him seriously and said yes. When I said yes he was shocked because he didn’t think I’d agree to marriage. The rest is history.

He and I were kids when we got married May 31, 1975. I was a virginal sixteen year old and he was an impatient nineteen year old. He literally worshipped the ground I walked on. I had no clue what love was at that young age. The marriage lasted 15 years and he put up with a lot of crap from me in all those years. I was such a bitch to live with since marriage was the last place I wanted to be. He was a very loving person and I killed his spirit because I was an unhappy person. We became friends and I began to view him as more as a brother than a husband since we sort of grew up together.

He was and is to this day a very undemanding person who never puts up a fuss about anything. He takes life as it comes and is very fun loving. My daughter has his personality and I’m thankful for that. And I’m thankful for the time I spent married to him. Him and his family taught me a lot about life and he helped me become the person I am today. I have absolutely no regrets other than I wish the hurt and pain of marriage and separation could have been avoided.

A funny story about Brent. I would have my best friend visit for the weekends (we were both 17) when he played gigs because I didn’t like to stay alone at night (we lived way in the country). I was still in high school and our place was the place to visit. No authority! Brent’s father had built us a brand new home which was also completely destroyed in Hurricane Rita. We were always playing practical jokes on each other. One night Brent went to the shower and as a joke I removed his clothing from the bathroom. My girlfriend and I waited for him to holler at me to bring his clothes back to him. Well the joke was on us because he walked into the living room stark raving naked in all his glory. My friend who had never seen a live nude man in her life damned near pissed all over herself. We learned our lesson that night.

Throughout our years, along with his wife and her family, we have remained friends and amicable towards each other and we share two things that are very special to all of us...a daughter and a grandson.

Here we are in all of our innocence:

Awards VS LSU

Congratulations to all the VIVA Award Winners. To the nominees as well, you are all winners for having been recognized for such great talent. I am sorry I could not attend but in searching my closet I could not find anything appropriate to wear to the event.

Instead, I donned my purple and gold (actually purple and black) and headed to the Capital of Louisiana to see the beloved LSU Tigers. I stood for a moment of silence in reverence of my awe at finally being in Tiger Stadium. We had awesome seats in a small boxed in area that seated 9 people. The colors in the stadium were so vibrant and alive. Television does not do these live sporting events justice. You can feel the excitement and sizzle in the air. For the National Anthem the rockets did indeed burst in the air and I damn near came unglued since I wasn’t expecting it. Mike the Tiger was on hand for a few growls before being returned to his several million dollar habitat. That cat lives better than I! LSU won and we all left to make the long trek back to our vehicle. We had parking passes so the walk wasn’t as long as most but remind me not to wear high heeled boots next time.

I’m afraid I did not get any tailgating done. My daughter was late and we barely made it for kickoff. I’m thankful because today I don’t have a hangover to contend with or any embarrassing tailgating tales to tell.

As you can see we had great tickets and I was able to capture the first touchdown by LSU:

Once again, congrats to all the winners and nominees and next year I think we need a new category

"The Most Shallow and Superficial Journal"

...maybe I will have a chance next year :)~