Exaggeration

Back in 1975, I was newly married, and lived on the back roads of Louisiana, in a small community.  I was a very impressionable girl of 16, and I am going to recount to you an occasion, which to this day makes my heart shout with joy and laughter. 

There was a family that lived right down the road from us.  A lovely family of 7, five children, of which one of them was a male species, the likes of which my eyes had never dreamed she would behold.  He was tall in stature, far taller than most his age, built like a Greek God, and my imagination could only guess at what was hidden from the view of my eyes.  He had a crowning glory of hair that would shame most women.  I could barely take my eyes off of his shining locks.  The rays of the sun bounced off of his crowning glory over and over again,  as though it couldn't get enough of touching them. Oh how I wished my hands could be the rays of sunlight!  I was watching from the veil of my window, finally tearing my eyes away from the top of his beautiful head. My eyes finally reached just below his waist, they were in such disbelief as to what they discovered.  I had to close my eyes and shake my head to clear the vision, and look again, to be sure I was truly experiencing such a freak of nature.  What I discovered at the the waistline of this gorgeous specimen was an animal of proportions I had never seen before. A sheep.

Disclaimer: People reading this will not get the joke....but one person will....Much love to the person who will. You are an awesome friend!

Time stands still for no one!

Whoah!  It's been almost five years since I last posted.  Amazing!  

Someone suggested that I start blogging again.  Not sure they suggested it because they miss my wit, or if they just want me to do something constructive with my idle time.  I'm going to go with the wit.... 

I read an article today that said that most writers do not know what they intend to write when they sit down to keyboard.  I'm afraid that has been my problem these last few years.  I have not had anything to write about.  That goes for today, as well.  I'm winging this, and praying something comes to mind, as not to bore anyone laying their eyes upon this post.  This article that I read also mentioned that writing is a way of thinking about something twice.  In your mind and then in your words.  I thought that was very profound.  These days, thinking is what I do a lot of....the writing part is what is missing.  I'm thinking of all this wisdom that is going unrecorded.  I need to go to confession for that miserable sin,  along with a few others. (OK...I'm not writing about the "few others", just yet!)

I miss the days, where if you wrote something, someone in the community of journalers/bloggers would actually read your writing.  That was something that always spurred me on...knowing someone was reading my profundity or lack thereof.  

I remember the first time that I realized someone was actually reading what I wrote and commented.   I was like...Oh My Gosh....they just created a monster!
That monster has been silent for way too long.  Hopefully this will become something I do more often....even if no one reads it!

Men's and gyms

My grandmother once told me that she may look old on the outside but on the inside she still feels 18. I finally understood that statement when I found my hormones working overtime at the gym. Usually I'm oblivious to male testosterone but I guess the 18 year old in me emerged! There I was minding my own business and I look up from my leg extenders and this is facing me. What to do? What to do? Keep dreaming. Actually young men don't interest me but this guy is a sweetheart and he'd probably get a kick out of this mature woman getting pics on the sly.  I truly took it because I knew my daughter would love to see it. :)

In bed with the son in law

My grandson asked me if I liked his Big Daddy, who is his stepdad and my son in law. We get along well enough but there are some things I don't agree with so we really don't have much to say to each other. I guess my grandson, in all of his wisdom, noticed our lack of repartee. He decided to inquire about this little thing he noticed. The conversation went like this:

Matthew "Nammy do you like my Big Daddy?"

Me (not wanting to lie and buying time). Why do you ask?

Matthew "because y'all never talk"

Me (quick on my toes and not wanting to lie). Well, Matthew, Big Daddy goes straight to bed to watch tv when I am here so in order to talk to him I'd have to climb in bed with him!"

He got the biggest chuckle out of that idea while realizing the truth of it and I was saved from lying to my grandson.

Walgreens and Angels

Today I was at my local Walgreens and was stooping to the lowest level to grab an item  when I heard a booming voice make a statement about Nancy “Botox” Pelosi and a few other choice statements.  He proceeded to Bless America and a few others.   I was chuckling out loud when he rounded the corner and saw me.  I guess my halo was showing and he found the need to explain himself.  He said that the pharmacist and he were good friends and in a prayer group together.  He said they  wouldn’t  talk about worldly things and he explained that sometimes it got tiring to be so holy .  He continued  to inform me that what I was witnessing was his swerve to things unholy.  It put the biggest smile on my face because unbeknownst to him he was speaking to someone who understood the need to walk on the dark side every now and then.  He was so infectious and a bubble of joy leapt  from my heart.  He walked me down the aisle to the register wishing me a very Merry Christmas!  Sometimes the smallest thing can make your day so where ever you are try to notice  God in others.  It’s there even when it doesn’t appear as though that is what you are seeing.  God visits you in the most unlikely of places. :))

Cigars and Martinis

For 3 days I spent an enormous amount of company time (stealing in God's eyes)  searching for a Christmas gift for the prince I mentioned in one of my previous entries.  Do you guys know how hard it is to come up with an idea for princes that you barely know and within a budget of zilch?  I was on a mission and asked a male friend for ideas.  That was probably my first mistake because in all his maleness he said to ask leading questions to find out information. So I knew he smoked cigars because of a picture I had seen.  Of course, I know zilch about cigars or brands.  So, I, with the most innocent of intentions did just that...made a statement with the intent of finding information on his favorite brand.   

In a text, me:  "a good cigar and martini"

Him:  "would you like to come to my place?"

Me:   "ummm....."

Not exactly the way I expected that conversation to go....or any of the conversation thereafter.  My conclusion?  Never listen to male friends.

I did eventually find out the brand of cigar in a totally different way....by point blank asking.  Go figure!

No matter what...find a way to smile...it improves face value...

Bless me Father

 

This morning it was on my heart to go to confession.

Bless me Father for I have sinned etc etc.  I'm baring my soul and making a heartfelt confession about my irritation with everyone,  when I look thru the grill (that's not what it's called but that's what it reminds me of)  and I notice the priest has the audacity to be yawning. I'm thinking to myself...Father you're irritating me! 

I'm sure my soul is pretty clean if even a priest is yawning....